Twelve years ago, during a dinner gathering with a childless couple, my nearly three-year-old daughter casually approached and surprised us all with a simple question: “Wanna nurse?” The stunned silence that followed was broken by laughter, yet I could sense the shock on our friends’ faces. I chuckled and replied, “No, thanks. Maybe later,” and she happily moved on. This moment highlighted the reality of our parenting journey—our three children all nursed until they were just over three years old. While this kind of extended nursing may be uncommon, it was a part of our family’s experience.
Before diving into the reasons we chose to breastfeed our toddlers, it’s essential to clarify some misconceptions. Here are ten reasons that did not motivate us to continue nursing:
- To discomfort others.
- To make a statement.
- Out of an unhealthy attachment to breastfeeding.
- To seek attention.
- To feel needed.
- To consider myself a superior mother.
- To avoid saying no.
- To resist my children growing up.
- Due to laziness about feeding them solid foods.
- To earn a trophy.
These responses often surface in discussions about extended breastfeeding, but they do not reflect my motivations. Here are ten genuine reasons we chose to nurse through toddlerhood:
- Comfort: Nursing provided significant comfort for our toddlers, much like pacifiers or favorite blankets. It helped them feel secure as they navigated their developing independence. I appreciated having an immediate and familiar source of comfort.
- Nutrition: Breastmilk maintains its nutritional value, offering essential proteins, fats, and vitamins. As children grow, they do require more than milk, but there is no necessity to switch to cow’s milk if both mother and child are willing to continue breastfeeding.
- Cost-Effectiveness: Breastmilk is free. I didn’t see the need to purchase cow’s milk or alternatives when I had a readily available nutritional source.
- Convenience: Nursing is incredibly convenient. If my toddler requested milk, I didn’t even need to get up.
- Research: With a background in lactation support from my mother, I explored various studies on extended breastfeeding. The research indicates no harm in continuing this practice, with anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler suggesting natural weaning ages between 2.5 and 7 years.
- Respect: My children expressed a desire to continue breastfeeding, and I felt it was essential to respect their wishes. We gradually transitioned through a slow weaning process, which helped minimize any potential distress.
- Calmness: Nursing offered a peaceful pause in our busy lives. This calmness likely contributed to a decrease in tantrums, making the toddler years more manageable.
- Body Image: While not a primary reason, I did benefit physically from breastfeeding, as it helped me maintain my weight and provided a temporary boost to my figure.
- Experience: I was breastfed until I was 2.5 years old, and my husband was around 4. Both of us grew up without any adverse effects, so I viewed extended nursing as entirely normal.
- Confidence: Despite the stigma surrounding extended breastfeeding, I felt assured in my choice. Knowing many mothers who had similar experiences bolstered my confidence and alleviated fears about potential negative outcomes.
If you were to meet my children today, you would never know they nursed until age three. They have no recollection of it, and that’s perfectly fine. The societal discomfort surrounding extended breastfeeding is largely cultural, and the arguments against it often lack substantial merit.
I fully understand that not every mother may want to nurse for that long, and I would never impose my choices on others. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least one year, while the World Health Organization suggests two years or longer, depending on mutual interest. Ultimately, these are guidelines, not rules.
Every mother’s journey is different. Some women may face challenges that prevent them from breastfeeding, and that’s completely valid. Others may choose to wean sooner for personal reasons, which is equally acceptable. It’s perfectly fine to nurse a child who can ask for it, and to take a gradual approach to weaning if that suits your family.
Motherhood is challenging enough without the added pressure of judgment from others. I hope sharing my reasons for extended breastfeeding clarifies the choice for those who may question it. If you have any further inquiries, feel free to reach out.
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Summary
Extended breastfeeding can provide comfort, nutrition, and convenience for toddlers and their mothers. While societal norms often challenge this practice, it is a personal choice that many families find beneficial. The journey of motherhood is unique to each individual, and open discussions can help normalize various parenting decisions.
Keyphrase: Extended breastfeeding
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