5 Reasons I Can’t Possibly Exercise Right Now

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Every time I finish a workout, I emerge looking like a lobster, with my heart racing faster than a thoroughbred at the finish line. My muscles feel like they’re protesting a bad performance, yet the rush of endorphins that floods my system is nothing short of euphoric. So why don’t I embrace this feeling more often? The truth is, my mind is a master at crafting excuses that could rival a skilled storyteller.

Here are five reasons I simply can’t find the motivation to exercise right now:

  1. I’ve Already Showered.
    The logistics of getting a moment of privacy to shower are monumental, making it nearly impossible for me to justify a second shower in one day. There’s no record of a mother managing to bathe twice without interruptions. Trust me, being sprayed by a garden hose doesn’t count.
  2. My Menstrual Cycle Is Approaching.
    Just felt a cramp? Great, that’s a sign my period is on the horizon. I swear I heard somewhere—maybe from a trusted source like Oprah—that exercising during this time can lead to weight gain. Although my period may still be a week away, that twinge is definitely not from the ice cream I recently indulged in. Better to wait until next week when this monthly disaster subsides.
  3. The Weather Is Unfavorable.
    I prefer running as my exercise of choice—it’s free and feels instinctual. However, rain is a game-changer. I refuse to invest in overpriced neon running gear that advertises my love for the activity. I’d rather spend my money on decadent chocolates to enjoy post-run. If the rain hits, I’m stuck wearing old, baggy clothes that weigh me down, leaving me squelching through puddles. Nobody wants trench foot, after all; those documentaries make it clear that it ends badly.
  4. My Digestive System Is Unreliable.
    When my stomach is gurgling ominously, and I haven’t had a bathroom break all day, the last thing I want is to be running away from home. My bladder may be a trooper, but when it comes to anything else, my body tends to act like it’s on its own schedule. I’d rather avoid a potential disaster during my workout.
  5. My Child Is Overly Demanding.
    You’ve probably seen those adorable videos of mothers and their kids doing yoga or exercising together, right? Not in my reality. If I dare to get on the floor, my child is instantly all over me, asking questions or demanding snacks. Exercise and children simply do not mix in my household. I need a distraction-free zone if I’m going to let loose and unleash my colorful vocabulary while struggling through a workout.

Feel free to borrow any of these excuses if you’re feeling pressured by overly enthusiastic friends. Or, just come hang out with me—our heaviest lifting involves moving tortilla chips to our mouths, and that can definitely work up a sweat!

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Summary

In summary, while the benefits of exercise are well-known, numerous factors can serve as deterrents. From personal hygiene concerns and menstrual cycles to weather conditions and the demands of motherhood, there are plenty of valid reasons to put off a workout.

Keyphrase: Exercise excuses

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