When I welcomed my daughter into the world last year, my partner dutifully shared the news: she weighed this much, measured that much, and of course, “mom and baby are doing fine.” This phrase, which seems to accompany every newborn announcement, suddenly felt absurd to me. Fine? How could anyone label our experience as “fine”?
The reality was far from fine. The epidural failed, my partner was awkwardly adjusting the IV in my hand, and the nurse appeared to be new and unsure. After the delivery, I felt every single stitch. And it seemed like my precious baby was unhappy in her new surroundings, too. Our first photos captured two bewildered individuals, neither of us looking remotely like we were “fine.”
As I lay in bed, listening to my baby cry, frustration built within me. Surely I wasn’t the first mother to be falsely categorized as “fine.” How many women had been labeled as such while silently longing for support, rest, or even a meal from the hospital cafeteria after hours? I suspected many. I couldn’t shake the thought that this supposedly “baby-friendly” hospital was not adequately caring for my little one, who must have been wondering if the two clumsy adults observing him were truly capable of providing the security he needed.
It struck me as outrageous that two people who had just endured such a monumental experience could be labeled so dismissively. It echoed the disappointing reality I had faced during my pregnancy: unless you were in dire physical distress, society expected you to be “fine.” Ignore your pain, suppress your fears, and adhere to the endless rules. And heaven forbid you express anything other than joy during those nine months, as so many others wished they could say the same.
Reflecting on my experience, I recognized how fortunate I was to have navigated a “fine” pregnancy. Yet, even amidst the struggles, I realized that we were not just fine; we were remarkable. That beautiful little girl? She was the most stunning baby I had ever seen. And I played a pivotal role in bringing her into this world.
You wouldn’t call someone who has just completed an Ironman “fine.” They are celebrated as extraordinary. The gladiators of ancient Rome weren’t merely “fine.” They were warriors. Michelangelo’s work was not just “fine” but a testament to his genius. And while Joseph may have proclaimed Mary and Jesus were doing “fine,” I suspect that was a simplification of their extraordinary journey.
My newborn and I were on top of the world, even if we couldn’t yet walk or articulate our needs. We may have been uncertain about what lay ahead, but we were thriving. Our most vital truths were clear: we were loved, we were alive, and we had each other.
So let’s retire the phrase “mom and baby are fine.” It’s time to recognize the truth. Mother and child are not just fine; they are remarkable beings, having triumphed over the challenges of birth and ready to face whatever life presents. Mom and baby are ready to take on the world—once mom can manage to get out of bed unassisted.
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In summary, the experience of motherhood and the arrival of a new baby is anything but ordinary. It’s a journey filled with challenges, triumphs, and moments that redefine our understanding of “fine.” Let’s celebrate the extraordinary nature of this experience, recognizing the strength required to navigate it.
Keyphrase: motherhood experience
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