The time has arrived for reflection. As a parent, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never fit the mold of a “cool mom,” and that’s perfectly acceptable to me.
Consider your own childhood for a moment. Recall those instances when your mother did something that felt quintessentially “mom-like,” leaving you feeling mortified. Perhaps you swore to yourself, “When I become a mom, I will never do that to my kids!” We’ve all been there.
However, once we become parents, we inevitably find ourselves in the role of the “embarrassing mom.” I have no ambition to be my daughter’s “#bestie”—it’s simply not a priority for me, and I feel strongly about this stance. My own mother was not my best friend during my formative years. I certainly didn’t rush home to share the details of my first kiss at age fifteen with her—something I’m sure she appreciated. What mother would want to hear about her 15-year-old daughter’s romantic escapades with a gangly teenage boy? I can only imagine my reaction: “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN, YOU’LL CATCH SOMETHING TERRIBLE!”
Not the most appropriate response? Luckily, I have a few years to fine-tune my replies. I was among the last of my friends to experience my first kiss, a true late bloomer. Yet, now as a mother, I view fifteen as alarmingly young. Friends who are educators have informed me that in today’s world, children in sixth grade are already engaged in sexual activities that would make any parent cringe. These kids are merely twelve years old.
This reality is disheartening and prompts me to consider some extreme measures. When my daughter starts attracting attention from young boys, I might just keep a torch handy. “Berkley, want to come over for a bike ride?” “BACK OFF, JIMMY! Or you’ll meet your fiery fate.” I suspect my partner would fully support this precaution.
When I was twelve, I was blissfully unaware of such adult topics. Today’s children are exposed to an overwhelming amount of inappropriate content far too soon, which is troubling. This is why I can never adopt the “cool mom” persona, as made famous by Amy Poehler in “Mean Girls.”
I refuse to be that laid-back mom. If I stumble upon a questionable text in my daughter’s pocket—or more likely, her phone—I won’t simply ignore it. You can bet I will routinely check her messages. She will not be allowed to spend time alone in her room with a boyfriend, and I will never be the parent who turns a blind eye to underage drinking in our home simply because it’s “safer here.” My daughter will not be spending the night at her boyfriend’s house, regardless of how exemplary his character may be. I will not permit her to dress provocatively, even if it happens to be the latest trend.
Do I sound like a “hover mom”? For those unfamiliar, the term describes a mother who is excessively protective and overly cautious. Such moms are often criticized and made the butt of jokes.
Let’s clarify a few things: I don’t believe my children are in constant danger, and I absolutely plan to enjoy date nights away from home with a trustworthy babysitter. However, I am unapologetic about keeping a close eye on my kids. It’s our job as parents to look out for them, and I see no reason to feel ashamed about that.
There is definitely a balance to be struck when it comes to parenting. I don’t intend to invade my children’s privacy or stifle their independence entirely. They need the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them, as unfortunate as those lessons may sometimes be. This, I believe, will ultimately make them more resilient and insightful young adults. My aim is not to become the parent my daughter resents; rather, I want her to love and respect me, just as I will love and guide her through her youth.
Eventually, I hope to transition into a close friendship with my daughter, similar to the relationship I now share with my own mother. That bond blossomed after I got married, and while my mother will always be my mom, she has also become one of my closest confidantes. I value that connection immensely and believe every woman deserves the same.
But for now, while my daughter remains young and innocent, my role is not her best friend. I am her mother.
In conclusion, as we navigate the complexities of parenting, it’s important to remember the value of guidance and boundaries. For insights on pregnancy and family life, you might find valuable resources at the CDC, which provides excellent information on pregnancy. Additionally, if you’re considering home insemination options, this guide can be quite helpful, as can this one which discusses authoritative options in self insemination.
Keyphrase: Parenting and boundaries
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