I Break The Rules: A Reflection on Parenting

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Dear Precious Child,

As you celebrate your second birthday, I find myself reflecting on the many rules I set for myself before your arrival. You, with your vibrant spirit and strong will, often challenge those rules, and honestly? I’ve broken or bent many of them myself.

Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding was one of those ideals I envisioned maintaining for a full year. But the reality was that you wanted to nurse constantly, and my body simply couldn’t keep up. I tried pumping, but it wasn’t effective. After just two weeks, we both found more joy when you transitioned to formula, ensuring your little tummy was happy and full.

Resting When You Did

I once vowed to rest when you did, letting chores wait their turn. However, laundry, dishes, and meal prep quickly filled the void of quiet time. Yet, amidst the chaos, I cherished those brief moments on the couch with you snuggled close, our heartbeats in sync. Those quiet snuggles were irreplaceable.

Television

I also told myself that I would not allow my children to watch television. However, there have been days when a little screen time provided the much-needed reset button for both of us. Whether waiting at the doctor’s office or simply needing a break, sometimes a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse can work wonders.

Anxiety as a First-Time Parent

The notion of not being an overly anxious first-time parent was another rule I broke without hesitation. I remember bringing you to the pediatrician because I was concerned about the shape of your pinky toe—my worries often spiraled out of control.

Maintaining a Schedule

I believed I could maintain my life without your schedule dictating my every move. Yet, I learned quickly that missing naps or bedtime could lead to chaotic meltdowns. A structured routine became essential for our sanity.

Nutrition

As for nutrition, I had dreams of you enjoying a balanced diet filled with vegetables. Reality, however, has seen you favor hot dogs for dinner and sugary pouches over greens. I cling to the hope that you’ll eventually embrace broccoli, despite your current indifference.

Social Outings

I aspired to balance social outings with motherhood, but my identity shifted dramatically after your birth. While I cherish our time together, the occasional happy hour with friends recharges my spirit after long toddler-filled weeks.

Reclaiming My Pre-Baby Body

The idea of reclaiming my pre-baby body has also proven unrealistic. My body has changed in various ways, and the gym seems like a distant memory. Breakfast today consisted of a cookie, and lunch? Goldfish crackers.

Discussing Poop

Prior to your birth, I vowed not to discuss poop, yet here I am, fully immersed in the topic. It seems like an inevitable part of the parenting experience.

Wine Time

I also promised myself I wouldn’t anxiously await “wine time.” Yet, I find myself breaking that rule daily, often counting the minutes until I can unwind.

Yoga Pants

Despite my intentions to avoid the yoga pants cliché, I’ve succumbed to the comfort they provide. However, I still make an effort to dress up occasionally, if only to feel like myself again.

Falling Asleep Independently

Lastly, I imagined my children would learn to fall asleep independently, unaware of how intoxicating the scent of your hair is while rocking you to sleep. Those moments are far too precious to trade for any rule.

As you can see, my dear child, I’ve navigated many broken or bent rules in this parenting journey. You will find that some rules are flexible and can be adjusted to fit life’s realities. However, one rule stands firm: I will love you with every fiber of my being, unconditionally and forever.

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In summary, parenting is an imperfect journey filled with broken rules and unexpected joys. Embrace the flexibility, and remember that love will always be the most important rule of all.

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