In the early days of parenthood, it may seem inconceivable that your children would still be sharing your bed years later. Yet, here I am, experiencing this phenomenon with my children, who are now 15 and 12. It’s amusing to reflect on the time my partner and I read the Searses’ Attachment Parenting Book, chuckling at the notion that children typically stop co-sleeping by age six. I remember thinking, “What if my son, Max, is still in our bed by then?” The passage of time felt surreal; it could be both fleeting and interminable. The Searses’ portrayal of their eight children sprawled across their master bedroom was perplexing, and yet, somehow, we found ourselves in a similar situation.
Co-sleeping has brought me immense joy, albeit with some complexities. The tender moments of nursing, the soft glow of moonlight illuminating my child’s face, and the comforting presence of my little ones nestled beside me created a unique bond. Our bedtime rituals often turned into lengthy processes filled with storybooks, soothing music, and affectionate touches—an experience that can be both rewarding and exhausting.
During this time, I often turned to parenting books that left me feeling overwhelmed, as if my children would never learn to sleep independently. The contrast with my brother’s parenting approach, where he simply placed his child in a crib and turned off the light, left me baffled. How could that work?
As I observe the new parents around me, I am reminded that the cycle of parenting continues. They grapple with similar sleepless nights and choices about co-sleeping, seeking validation that their experiences are normal. Even my former notorious non-sleepers have now become adept at self-soothing and sleeping soundly on their own.
However, this summer has been one of the most blissful periods of my life, with my children once again gravitating toward our room. We’ve transformed our space into a cozy haven, complete with blankets, pillows, and a small futon we affectionately named “The Crouton.” It feels like a never-ending sleepover—filled with laughter, late-night movies, and cherished moments. I find comfort in the sounds of my family around me as I drift off to sleep, reminding me that we could have chosen a different path, one that may not have brought us the same joy.
As autumn approaches, I know this season of shared sleeping will eventually come to an end, and we will return to our separate spaces. Yet, I also understand that I will carry the memories of those moonlit nights and the rising and falling chests of my beloved children with me—an irreplaceable treasure.
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In summary, co-sleeping can be a fulfilling experience that fosters deep connections within a family, even as children grow older. Embracing this unique journey can lead to treasured memories, despite the inevitable transitions that come with time.
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