By: Jamie Carter
Updated: Sep. 7, 2023
Originally Published: Sep. 7, 2023
I suspect my partner has narcolepsy. His remarkable ability to fall asleep the moment he relaxes is both astonishing and incredibly frustrating. This potential narcolepsy isn’t just a minor annoyance in our relationship; it makes me want to shake him with my weary, frustrated hands. While I struggle to drift off, I often find myself awoken by snoring or the children’s antics.
Recently, in a moment of fatigue, I accidentally told a group that I thought my partner had necrophilia instead. I desperately need more sleep.
I cherish my partner and want to spend quality time with him—yes, even intimacy. But we have kids now, and they seem to be constantly interrupting, whether it’s during our conversations or romantic moments, often wedging themselves between us. The changes that come with parenthood can be overwhelming, making it challenging to nurture our relationship.
Some days, I feel like yelling, “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” I imagine stabbing a gallon of milk with scissors, letting it spill everywhere, leaving a delightful mess for my partner to find when he returns home. I’d greet him with a kiss and say something like, “I’ve done absolutely nothing today, except flood our home with milk. Oh, and by the way, everyone has diarrhea, we’re out of diapers and bread, and of course, milk…see you in a week.”
Recently, I expressed that my emotional needs were lacking, and inadvertently began a conversation about my feelings before 8 a.m. Picture a stereotypical 1950s housewife—me in my pajamas, angrily unloading the dishwasher, while he stood there in his work attire, looking utterly bewildered.
While we discussed my feelings, our two oldest were in the bathroom, attempting to cram latex balloons down the drain. That’s the essence of marriage and parenthood for you.
I often find myself reminiscing about the days when we were still trying to impress one another. Back then, I would spend hours getting ready, and he would surprise me with flowers or tickets to events. Adult responsibilities—like budgeting, school supplies, and meals in the slow cooker—aren’t exactly romantic. Or so I thought.
One evening at 5:45 p.m. on a Tuesday, I stood at the sink, grappling with my thoughts: Who invented Hamburger Helper? It’s basically just a box of chemicals I’m supposed to enhance with meat and water. Why are the kids screaming? Oh no, someone will end up in the E.R. if they don’t stop running in the house—“STOP RUNNING!”—and just then, my partner arrived home. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and noted that I looked like a disaster. Was that diaper cream on my pants? Fantastic.
Amid the chaos of running children and loud television, my husband walked in, came over, wrapped his arms around me, and gave me a kiss that felt like a movie moment. For a brief instant, time stood still.
What we’re building together—this life, this partnership—I wouldn’t trade for anything, not even for the frustrations that come with his potential narcolepsy.
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In summary, balancing the demands of parenthood with maintaining a loving relationship can be challenging, but through communication and moments of connection, it’s possible to navigate these struggles together.
Keyphrase: Navigating Parenthood
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