To my friends nestled in the northern regions:
You know exactly who you are. This morning, you woke with a sense of excitement, feeling that first breath of coolness in the air, whether it was real or merely imagined. You declared to yourself: “There’s a transformation happening!” And, of course, you took to social media to share your enthusiasm for the arrival of autumn with the world.
“I adore fall!” you thought, as you rummaged through your closet for that bin of cozy sweaters. Sweaters, football games, vibrant foliage, and the thrill of a new school year. And let’s not forget the pumpkin spice lattes, which you felt compelled to announce to your online followers as well. #PSL, you exclaimed.
Here’s the thing I need to confess—it might feel a bit awkward since we’re close friends, but I must be honest: I harbor some resentment.
Before you panic, this feeling is temporary. By mid-November, when the delightful leaves have turned into a soggy mess, your new sweaters have started to pill, and the skies settle into that weary gray that lingers until April, I’ll be ready to reconnect.
But for the next couple of months, I must admit I feel a deep-seated irritation toward you and your autumn-loving peers. And I believe I speak for my fellow warm-weather enthusiasts when I say this:
When you curate boards filled with images of leather boots and scarves titled “I love fall!” we feel a little part of us wither. We might even re-pin them, but we know our boots won’t see daylight until late October, if at all, and even then we’ll feel like imposters as the sweat accumulates.
When you post recipes for pumpkin-infused pancakes, martinis, s’mores, and yes, even pumpkin-scented drawer potpourri (seriously, enough with the pumpkin!), we experience a mix of envy and frustration, wrapped up in a metaphorical pumpkin-apple-cinnamon blintze.
When your Instagram feeds overflow with #nofilter shots of maple trees ablaze in colors of red and orange, we can only think about banging our heads against the steering wheel—instead, we just weep, but the steering wheel is too hot to touch.
When you boast about the aroma of homemade applesauce wafting from your slow cooker after a day of apple-picking, we’re cranking our air conditioning and lamenting the news of yet another week of triple-digit temperatures—this makes it the 18th week in a row.
When you dress your children in matching long-sleeved pumpkin-themed apparel for photos at the pumpkin patch, we’re slathering ours in SPF 50 and arriving at the patches at dawn to escape the heat. Sure, we tackle hay rides and petting zoos, but only because we’ve surrendered to the whims of our children, who have been cooped up for months.
When you cheer for your school wearing knit hats and puffy vests while sipping spiked cider, we’re inside watching the games, contemplating our existence.
And when you flaunt your first pumpkin spice latte of the season, we’re suffocated by a wave of bitterness regarding the crunching leaves, scents of cinnamon and nutmeg, cozy chili dinners, touchdowns, and those shorter days with brisk mornings. While we may still order our own #PSL and post our own photos to prove we participated, we do so with a heart full of spite.
It’s not really your fault. I can acknowledge that, and I know that come March, you’ll feel the same kind of frustration when I share pictures of my kids delighting in sprinklers and tweet about my latest sunburn from a day spent at a spring training game. Regardless, I still feel this way.
There’s a reason Starbucks doesn’t market an iced pumpkin spice latte: it embodies a taste that resembles bitterness.
Until November,
Your friend in the sunny south
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In summary, while the excitement of autumn brings joy to many, it can also induce feelings of envy in those who live in warmer climates. The contrast between the experiences of autumn enthusiasts and those who prefer milder weather can lead to a humorous yet relatable tension.
Keyphrase: Autumn Enthusiasts vs. Warm-Weather Lovers
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