As children, reaching the halfway point of the year and being able to say, “I’m X and a half” brought a certain thrill. When was the last time you felt that excitement? I celebrated my 40th birthday a couple of years ago, and rather than feeling apprehensive, I embraced it wholeheartedly. Like many navigating midlife, I sought to seize it vigorously. I took up running as a personal gift, and while I won’t bore you with my times and distances, I exceeded my own expectations. I also began therapy, exploring my thoughts and feelings more deeply than ever before, and even got my first tattoo.
I made a point to share my journey openly. “Look who’s turning 40!” I announced on social media, reveling in the cascade of birthday messages. Contrary to what popular culture suggests, I didn’t feel old, nor did I look it. In fact, as I perused the updates from my high school and college friends, I noticed something: most of us still appeared youthful. We looked as we should, and it was in that moment I realized my generation is rewriting the narrative around middle age. Forget the dreary “Over the Hill” mindset; a friend even remarked, “Forty is the new 30,” and I fully embraced that notion.
However, over the next year, I observed a curious trend: many peers began discreetly erasing their true ages from social media. Specific birthdates disappeared, and graduation years were subtly hidden. Nostalgic posts shifted from “Can you believe this was 19 years ago?” to “Can you believe this happened at some unspecified time in the past?” It felt like we were slipping through an invisible threshold between being “young enough” and “too old,” and I struggled to understand why.
“We are vibrant, successful, and still full of life!” I reminded myself and my friends. Yet, as I live in a college town, I found myself growing older while the majority around me remained in that same youthful bubble.
Why is it that turning 40 leads to a sense of embarrassment about our age, as if we should whisper it like a secret instead of wearing it as a badge of honor? As my friends and I reached 41, birthday references to age became scarce. “We’re aging backwards now, right?” became the new humor among vague birthday posts and memes proclaiming, “Age is just an attitude, not a number.” But here’s the truth: age is indeed a number, and it should be a source of pride, not shame.
This heart of mine, once a mere flicker on an ultrasound, has been beating for over four decades. In that time, I’ve navigated countless challenges: childbirth, junior high, hurricanes, questionable hairstyles, prom outfits that could only be described as vintage, college misadventures, and deep losses. I’ve lived through a childhood devoid of safety measures that are commonplace today, endured car accidents, and managed the ups and downs of parenting. I even reminisced about the days of eating Pop Rocks chased down with soda.
I am surrounded by friends who have accomplished incredible feats—climbing mountains, writing bestsellers, overcoming adversity, and establishing their own nonprofits. Accomplishing such milestones demands tremendous energy and, most importantly, time. The evidence of these experiences is etched in the years we’ve lived, not that many would openly share their birthdates.
I’m not immune to societal pressures. Last year, I succumbed to the urge to conceal my own birthdate on social media, fearing I’d be the lone 41-year-old left visible. Yet, there was something unsettling about hiding “1983.” Was I ashamed of that year? No. Did I wish to erase a few years? Not really. Would I choose to revert to my 30s? Absolutely not.
While aging comes with its share of challenges—like the increasing frequency of dyeing my hair and the emergence of deeper laugh lines—I am grateful for every one of them. Those laugh lines reflect a life well-lived, filled with laughter, mistakes, growth, and love over the past 42 years. So, here’s to announcing our ages with pride, complete with our own personal photo albums filled with embarrassing hairstyles as proof!
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Summary
Aging should be celebrated rather than hidden. Individuals over 40 have a wealth of experiences that shape who they are. Embracing one’s age can foster pride and recognition of life’s journey. Resources are available for those looking to start families or explore reproductive options, ensuring that all paths are honored.
Keyphrase: Embracing age over 40
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