Today marks the final day of waking up solo. It’s the last time I’ll find myself brushing my teeth while balancing on one foot, trying to prevent my overly curious ten-month-old from exploring the toilet. It’s the last morning of making breakfast for my three-year-old while simultaneously nursing my teething infant. It’s the final evening of sitting on the edge of my bed, head in hands, reflecting on the trivial stresses that have led to tears of exhaustion and frustration. Tomorrow, my husband returns home.
Being a military spouse often means navigating challenges you never anticipated. From dealing with a disconnected phone during crucial conversations—leading from irritation to anxiety—to relying on family, friends, and neighbors for support, this experience has taught me the importance of community. This journey has undoubtedly been the most demanding for our family, stretching us thin yet ultimately making us more resilient.
Lesson 1: Embrace Help and Let Go of Pride
It’s common for people to offer assistance, and while your instinct might be to brush it off, remember that your pride isn’t worth sacrificing your mental health. Be specific about your needs; people want to help, but they may not know how.
Lesson 2: Accept That You Can’t Do It All
Compromises will become necessary. I had to trade one undesirable behavior for another, and the guilt was overwhelming. Yes, my kids watched more TV than I intended and yes, we dined at fast-food restaurants more often than I care to admit. Sometimes, survival requires making tough choices.
Lesson 3: Remember That You Are Both Experiencing Struggles
It’s easy to feel resentment when juggling teething, tantrums, and sleepless nights, especially when your spouse seems to be enjoying uninterrupted rest. Yet, he is also grieving the moments he’s missing—the first words, crawls, and games of peek-a-boo. Both of you are navigating different challenges.
Lesson 4: Recognize Your Vulnerability
During this time, emotions run high, making you both sensitive to each other’s words and actions. Arguments and frustration are inevitable, and it’s important to acknowledge this reality.
Lesson 5: Expect the Unexpected
If something can go wrong, it likely will. From health emergencies to unexpected job changes, be prepared for a rollercoaster ride of challenges.
Lesson 6: Discover Your Inner Strength
The best preparation advice I received was not that time flies, that help would always be available, or that everything would be okay. Instead, it was a reminder of your capabilities and resilience. I learned that I could be strong when necessary and vulnerable when alone.
While I hope to avoid this scenario in the future, I recognize it could happen again. This message serves as a reminder for those enduring similar separations that they are not alone in their struggles. A kind word or gesture can go a long way in providing support.
So, here’s to the families getting through each day, minute by minute. Although I wouldn’t wish this experience upon anyone, I learned that my family emerged stronger from it.
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In summary, navigating life as a military spouse can be challenging, with lessons learned in resilience, vulnerability, and the importance of seeking help. Embrace the journey, knowing that growth often comes from adversity.
Keyphrase: Lessons learned during military leave
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