My admiration for Madonna began in my childhood and has persisted throughout the years. Like many, my first performance was to “Lucky Star,” and despite skepticism from critics, my passion for her music and artistry has never waned. With the release of Rebel Heart, I firmly believe it’s her best album yet. However, the announcement of her upcoming tour has left me grappling with the exorbitant ticket prices nearing $1,000 each. The presence of pole-dancing nuns in her show certainly piques my interest, especially for her song “Holy Water.” I simply must be there.
As a parent of a toddler, our family budget does not account for concert tickets. In hindsight, I should have set aside funds for such an occasion—how did I overlook the necessity of a Madonna fund before having children?
So, what would Madonna do? Here are some potential strategies I’ve considered to acquire tickets:
- Elimination Communication: Abandoning diapers could save me approximately $45 per box. However, the constant vigilance required for this approach might hinder my ability to pursue other work-from-home opportunities I discovered online.
- Online Surveys: I registered on Swagbucks, only to realize the rewards would take an eternity to accumulate and would come as Starbucks gift cards—not exactly a viable currency for concert tickets.
- Selling Unused Items: I could list various items on eBay, like roller skates and a wetsuit. However, after shipping costs and disputes over authenticity, I’d likely net only a few dollars.
- Crowdfunding: Platforms like GoFundMe or Kickstarter might be options. But would friends and family take my fundraising efforts seriously? After all, they didn’t invite Madonna to my baby shower, despite having her on my list of must-invite guests.
- Auctioning Memorabilia: Perhaps selling my out-of-print copy of Sex would yield some funds, but what true fan would part with such a piece of history?
- Desperate Measures: It seems that selling a kidney may be the only feasible solution at this point.
Let’s reflect on my journey with Madonna. Growing up, I missed the Like a Virgin Tour while my friends attended in lace and crosses. The HBO broadcasts of the Blonde Ambition and The Girlie Show Tours provided a glimpse of what I had missed. I was devoted, even when Madonna’s pregnancy coverage dominated MTV, keeping me glued to the screen.
Despite the missed opportunities of the Drowned World and Re-Invention Tours, fate intervened when a friend unexpectedly took me to a Confessions Tour performance. It was a transformative experience—I could see Madonna up close and feel the electric atmosphere. That night, I promised myself I would never miss another show.
With the release of Hard Candy, I traveled to Las Vegas for a taste of her brilliance, returning home with a tour jacket and a mug that eventually chipped. Even while eight months pregnant, I waited until late to see her perform during the MDNA tour; it was worth every moment, despite the discomfort.
Now, with this profound history, I share in the disappointment of potentially missing what could be the most monumental concert yet. Unfortunately, selling organs is illegal in the U.S., and while I recognize the importance of organ donation, I cannot part with my kidney, especially considering my children may need it in the future.
As a fellow parent, I understand that family comes first. Madonna’s career has been a testament to growth and resilience, pushing boundaries while inspiring us to embrace our individuality. So while I may have to sit this concert out, my devotion to her music remains unwavering. I’ll always cherish her influence, even if I turn to resale sites in a last-ditch effort come October.
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In conclusion, while my quest for Madonna tickets may be hindered by financial constraints, my admiration for her and her artistry will never diminish.
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