It’s Wednesday evening, and I’m preparing to enjoy dinner with a friend. This time, there’s no need for a babysitter, and I’m not dealing with the chaos of toys scattered across the floor. Getting ready is a breeze when I’m not also managing a preschooler who is upset about the color of her plate. My friend asks, “Don’t you feel guilty for taking time away from her?” My response? Absolutely not.
This is my new reality. I can easily get dressed, return home whenever I choose, and even plan a spontaneous trip to L.A. with little notice. This is the life of a weekend mom, or at least my version of it.
Understanding the Weekend Mom Role
Before I found myself in this role, I had never encountered the term “weekend mom.” It refers to a mother who has visitation rights rather than full custody. When my daughter’s father and I decided she would live with him and visit me, I faced backlash from various corners.
“But you were such a devoted mom. What changed?”
“It’s unfortunate that you couldn’t manage your child.”
“Did substance use get the better of you?”
“Not everyone is meant to be a mother.”
And my personal favorite: “I wish I could be that selfish. I love my children too much for that.”
To those who think such comments are appropriate, I’d like to say, “Thank you for your opinion, but it’s misguided.” We live in a society that imposes unrealistic expectations of perfection on mothers.
The Benefits of My Decision
The truth is, allowing my daughter to live with her father was both the hardest and the most beneficial decision for her that I could have made. This choice was made with many considerations in mind. We wanted her to attend a better school, have access to more extracurricular activities, grow up with her sister, and be raised in a household with two involved parents. On a personal level, I longed to move away from the corporate grind and explore self-employment, which I’ve finally achieved.
This decision might sound “selfish” to some, but it’s a reflection of my desire to provide a better life for both my daughter and myself. The stigma surrounding weekend mothers suggests that we are less dedicated or loving, but I would argue the opposite is true. My limited time with her allows me to focus all my energy on being the best mom I can be during our visits.
Confronting Societal Stigma
Making the decision to share custody is incredibly challenging, and it’s not one I took lightly. While I sometimes feel heartbroken from missing her, I refuse to dwell on guilt or shame. While I may not spend as much time with my parenting friends as I used to, I find immense joy in knowing she is happy and that I have found a balance that allows me to breathe and grow—something I struggled to do when she was with me full-time.
The societal stigma surrounding weekend moms only reinforces harmful stereotypes about parenting roles. The best approach to combat this judgement is to confront it head-on. I do not feel guilty for enjoying my time away from my daughter. I miss her every day and worry about her constantly, but it does not diminish my love for her or my commitment as a parent.
You may believe that you could never make such a choice, but until you find yourself in a similar situation, it’s difficult to truly understand. So, while I may forgive the judgment, I stand firm in my choices.
Further Resources
For further insights into the journey of parenthood and home insemination, consider exploring resources like this article on IVF, or check out this post on the BabyMaker kit and CryoBaby kit.
Summary
Being a weekend mom comes with its own set of challenges and societal stigma. However, the choice to share custody has allowed for personal growth and the opportunity to provide a focused and loving environment during visitations. Understanding that parenting comes in different forms is crucial, and it’s important to challenge the stereotypes associated with non-traditional parenting roles.
Keyphrase: weekend mom
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”