Earlier this year, I, like millions of others, delved into Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize that this book wasn’t tailored for parents. Between the chaos of family life and the limited space in our home, I found that following her methods to the letter simply wasn’t feasible.
For starters, I won’t be emptying my entire closet onto the floor to sort through it all at once. The idea of neatly rolling my t-shirts like sushi in a bento box is laughable, and parting with my collection of spare buttons? Unthinkable! Yet, I did find a nugget of wisdom in her philosophy that resonated with me: “Does this object spark joy?” she prompts. “Keep it if it does; if not, let it go.”
A Surprising Request
After reading the book, I was surprised when my 6-year-old son, Jake, approached me during a school break and expressed a desire to declutter his toys. Together, we sat down in his playroom and went through each plastic bin, creating two piles: one for donating to his kindergarten and another for the thrift store.
The following days were spent sorting through his books, art supplies, DVDs, and clothing. By the end of the break, he had made significant decisions, including parting with a stuffed animal that he recently received as a gift. Observing Jake’s effortless discernment was enlightening; he inherently understood Kondo’s principle of joy. Children have an uncanny ability to assess their belongings without the guilt that often weighs down adults.
Lessons in Attachment
Jake kept items that held sentimental value to him, such as a crooked pipe cleaner figure, laminated leaves, and an ordinary pebble. When I questioned his attachments, his response was simple: “Because I love them!” On the flip side, he had no trouble disposing of a small toy car that had seen better days, despite its connection to his grandfather. “There are other gifts from Grandpa that I like better,” he explained, highlighting a refreshing lack of emotional baggage.
Since that decluttering episode, I’ve noticed Jake being far more selective about what he chooses to keep. He disposes of broken or torn items immediately, without hesitation. I often find things in the recycling bin—like a paper crown he wore briefly or a magazine he read once—and while I used to think of them as wasteful, I’ve learned to respect his judgement. He recognizes that the joy those objects once brought has passed. Why should he feel obligated to hold onto them?
Inspiration from a Child
I’ve begun to draw inspiration from his approach. I’m now sifting through my belongings—not in the prescriptive manner Kondo suggests, but in a way that feels right for me. I’m discovering that the act of letting go can enable a more fulfilling present.
Clothing has been the easiest category for me to part with. I’ve accepted that I won’t be fitting into smaller sizes or repairing damaged garments. I appreciate the thought behind gifts like scarves, but I know someone else would wear them with more joy. I’ve let go of my wedding dress and baby clothes, realizing that my memories are not tied to these items.
Digital possessions have also been a breeze to declutter; I’ve retained only the best photographs and memorable messages. Even books, which I once hoarded, are now easier to let go of. I’ve eliminated those I felt obligated to keep, focusing instead on a select few that truly resonate with me.
Conclusion
Marie Kondo’s insights about tidying can indeed be transformative, fostering a sense of lightness and clarity about priorities. But I didn’t need her book to grasp this; I just needed my son’s perspective.
In summary, the experience of decluttering with my son has taught me that joy and attachment should define our belongings, not guilt or obligation. By adopting a more mindful approach to what we keep, we can create space for the things that truly matter in our lives.
Keyphrase: decluttering with children
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