Parenting
The Journey of a Steroid-Enhanced Parent
by Lisa Parkson
Updated: December 20, 2015
Originally Published: August 2, 2015
“Are you experiencing difficulty with your breathing?” the nurse inquired over the phone. Just an hour after my first round of antibiotics, I noticed an unusual itchiness on my scalp and a warmth radiating from my torso. My immediate concern was, “Oh no, are the lice back?” I hastily left my laptop and rushed to the mirror, only to find a large hive stretching from my head to my waist. As I dialed the family medicine practice, I guzzled as much liquid Benadryl as I could locate.
After receiving a 125 mg steroid injection in my backside, I returned home just in time to greet my children as they got off the school bus, feeling euphoric from the medication. Nap time was unnecessary.
That was merely the beginning. My doctor prescribed a 12-day steroid regimen. Less than a day after my injection, I took three pills that Saturday morning. At the swim meet, I found myself pacing along the deck, cheering for kids I didn’t know, volunteering to run disqualification slips for the stroke-and-turn judge, and engaging in conversation with anyone who would listen. Two mom friends were astonished at how different I was compared to the previous week, when an upper respiratory infection had left me exhausted with tissues and hot tea.
By day three, I was on fire. While my kids were in school, I tackled the laundry. Upon their return, I resisted the urge to strip them down and toss their clothes into the washing machine. The kitchen was spotless; cereal boxes returned to their pantry rather than lingering on the countertops. I had morphed into my mother-in-law, a woman who can’t relax unless everything is in order. It was a bit unnerving for everyone.
Day four began with my volunteer role at the kids’ elementary school. I had chosen the hottest day of the year to supervise children dressed in medieval costumes participating in jousting matches on the playground. Between the steroids and the heat, I felt as if I were going through menopause. The first sign of trouble surfaced when I got home. Overwhelmed by end-of-year chaos, I texted a friend: “I have only three days and about 2.5 hours until my kids are free for summer.”
On day five, I opted for two pills instead of three. After waving goodbye to the school bus, I dashed home to create color-coded calendars: purple for swim practices, yellow for my daughter, red for my son, and orange for the few camps they would attend together. Aware that my days as a Steroid Mom were limited, I hoped the binder would help maintain my newfound productivity. However, around 1 p.m., I felt the familiar urge to bury my head in a pillow. Someone had stepped on my cape.
Days six to eight saw my energy rebound. When my kids arrived home on the last day of school, I took them to watch Inside Out. During the film, I laughed and cried—partly due to the steroids, but also because I recognized the kind of parent I could aspire to be: energetic, organized, and pain-free. Pre-steroids, I was a mix of Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Disgust. With the help of some pills, I had temporarily transformed into Joy, but I knew this ride was coming to an end; Sadness was lurking, eyeing the control panel in my mind.
Day nine meant taking one pill instead of two, but I compensated with an extra cup of coffee. My kids and husband went to the lake without me, and during church, I spilled communion wine on my dress.
On the first official day of summer break, I packed swim and camp bags for each child. I devised a plan for them to earn chore points toward the purchase of an Xbox 360, tracking their progress in our Summer binder.
The final surge of steroid-induced energy propelled me through a meeting on day twelve. A colleague remarked, “Wow, you’re completely different from the last time I saw you.” I explained my situation and added, “Tomorrow, I’ll crash.”
Nearly two weeks after the hives appeared, I awoke to an empty pill bottle. When my 10-year-old daughter began to complain at breakfast, I took a deep breath and said, “Remember the character Sadness from the movie?” She nodded. “Mommy feels like Sadness today. You could drag me across the floor. I’m trying really hard, but I need your help.”
It took a few days to regain balance. The swings between Sadness and Joy are now less drastic. The chronic pain returned, and I often need naps in the afternoons. However, the Summer binder remains as a symbol of my effort. Most importantly, I have established a common emotional language to share with my daughter.
This article was originally published on August 2, 2015.
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Summary:
In this narrative, a mother experiences a dramatic transformation under the influence of steroids prescribed for an allergic reaction. Initially filled with energy and motivation, she embraces her role as a supercharged parent while managing her children’s end-of-school activities. However, as the steroid regimen concludes, she faces the inevitable emotional and physical crash, ultimately finding balance and a deeper connection with her daughter through shared experiences.
Keyphrase: Steroid mom experience
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