During a recent outing to a local café, I observed a striking scenario unfold. A couple, impeccably dressed, was trying to navigate their toddler’s whimsy over brunch choices. The conversation went something like this:
Me: “Table for three?”
Parents: “Just a moment! Sweetie, what do you want for brunch? Eggs? Would you like to stay here?”
Toddler: “DAK!”
Parents: “Oh, okay, dear. He wants pancakes. You don’t have those, do you? We’ll come back later.”
I chuckled initially, thinking they were joking. No, they were serious. The parents exchanged glances filled with confusion and a hint of frustration.
Toddler: “BAAA!”
Parents: “Sorry! He really wants pancakes. We need to go. But we’ll return!”
Two thoughts crossed my mind: First, I initially interpreted “DAK!” as pancakes. What could “BAA” signify? Perhaps it was a request for eggs Florentine? Yet, I reconsidered; he’s merely a 14-month-old child, likely expressing himself in ways incomprehensible to adults. Second, my instinct was to wish they wouldn’t return. Their approach to parenting may be influencing others in the community, and it raises the question: When did our young ones start dictating our dining experiences?
In my household, we don’t typically dine out for brunch. My son, at 15 months, prefers to explore, shout, and toss things about. He relishes being the loudest one in the room and enjoys discarding items he finds. This behavior is entirely normal for his age, which is why I don’t confine him to a high chair for long periods, especially before my morning coffee.
Returning to the parents and their food-savvy child: Their little one was essentially calling the shots about their brunch. This trend is concerning. It might explain why so many children today exhibit challenging behaviors. We, as parents, need to reclaim our authority.
As I write, my delightful child is engaging in some curious floor-licking. Now he’s attempting to fit his foot into his mouth. Do we really want this unrefined creature making our brunch decisions? No, we do not.
This brings me to my theory about our collective parenting struggles: We have become overly focused on developmental milestones, pushing our children to achieve more than they are naturally inclined to. For instance, a 13-month-old is not reviewing the menu; she’s merely assessing how much of it she can fit into her mouth. That’s perfectly normal. However, it is problematic to assume she is acting with the same logic as an adult.
Parents often boast about their children’s intellectual feats—like mastering sign language—while neglecting to acknowledge the more primal behaviors that define toddlerhood. This creates a vicious cycle where we feel pressured to keep up with the parenting narrative, leading us to overlook our children’s true developmental stages. Instead of recognizing our children as they are, we try to mold them into something they are not, and before we know it, they are dictating our meal choices.
Remember, your child isn’t ordering pancakes, and that’s perfectly acceptable. As parents, it is our responsibility to guide decisions, including what we eat for breakfast. Shift your perspective: view your child not as a future prodigy, but as a young being in need of direction.
The future of our society may very well depend on this understanding.
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Summary:
Understanding that children are not miniature adults is crucial for effective parenting. By recognizing and addressing their developmental stage, parents can reclaim their authority and foster a healthier dynamic.
Keyphrase: Parenting and Child Behavior
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