Currently, my daughter is two years old, and I am her entire universe. As a stay-at-home mom, we spend every moment together. While she’s starting to improve with separation anxiety, there are still instances when I must gently detach her from my legs to leave her in the care of her father or a babysitter. Just five minutes after my departure, she’s usually fine, but the last memory I have before stepping out—whether to run an errand or enjoy a Mom’s Night Out—is her little body crumpled on the floor, sobbing, “Mama.”
“She’s such a Mama’s girl,” people often say with warmth. I nod in agreement as she turns away, burying her face in my chest, seeking comfort.
Yet, beneath the surface, I have concerns. I worry about our future relationship. Not just about having a bad day where we might disagree, but about the possibility of not truly knowing one another. I fear she may not trust me or that I could inadvertently manipulate her emotions. I dread the thought that she might hesitate to share her triumphs or feel anxious about confiding in me during tough times. I worry I won’t be the shoulder she leans on during her tears or the person she turns to in moments of joy, or even in the mundane everyday instances.
These worries stem from my own relationship with my mother. I am not close to her, and I often feel envy towards those daughters who describe their moms as best friends, sharing shopping trips, girls’ weekends, or nail appointments. I have had to grieve the absence of that kind of bond with my mother, and it continues to be a process of healing.
I never met my grandmother, as she passed away two years before I was born. My mother has mentioned that I remind her of her own mother, which perhaps explains why their relationship was often strained. As a child, I often imagined what life would have been like had my grandmother survived her cancer. I pictured her as my confidante, my anchor during the tumultuous waters of my childhood.
In honor of my grandmother, I chose to give my daughter her name. For now, she is indeed Mama’s girl, and while I worry she may not always feel that way, I hold onto hope. Hope that I can be everything to her that my mother was not to me.
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Summary
The article explores a mother’s concerns about her relationship with her daughter, influenced by her own challenging relationship with her mother. Despite worries about emotional connections and trust, she holds hope for a nurturing bond, reflecting on her family history and aspirations for her daughter’s future.
Keyphrase
Mother-daughter relationship
Tags
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