In today’s world, we often hear that labels should no longer define us. We are all unique individuals, and that’s a sentiment echoed often. We’re encouraged to forge our own paths, reject societal labels, and defy stereotypes. Yet, despite this progressive mindset, I find myself grappling with a term that I truly despise: “girlfriend.”
At 35 years old, with my partner being in his early 50s, there’s an 18-year age difference that is hard to ignore. Both of us have experienced marriage before; this relationship is not our first rodeo. We are mature adults who, for now, have chosen not to marry. However, the most suitable terms for our relationship seem to be “girlfriend” and “boyfriend,” both of which feel quite odd to us. This has led to extensive discussions—yes, over dinner tables—about the appropriateness of these labels.
Am I a teenager with curfews? Or perhaps a college student stressing over finals? My partner is no longer a youthful man with a penchant for reckless behavior; he rides a motorcycle, which adds an element of maturity. I am an adult woman, and I believe we deserve a better label.
We have experimented with alternatives. When I referred to Mark as my “partner,” I was mistakenly identified as a lesbian. While I have nothing against the LGBTQ+ community, that assumption was awkward for me, especially when I had to clarify. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” indeed!
The term “significant other” feels overly formal and distant. “Yes, this is Mark, my significant other. We share a deep love, and he is significant.” It just sounds odd. I’ve even let repairmen and curious neighbors believe we are married, despite our different last names and the absence of wedding bands. When the time is right, he better be ready to put a ring on it—perhaps I’ll even channel Beyoncé when he does!
“Lady friend” or “gentleman friend” come across as somewhat risqué, and while I’m not against a bit of cheekiness, it’s hardly suitable for family settings like office parties or school meetings. Occasionally, he affectionately calls me “Sweetheart,” which makes me smile, but referring to him as “Big Guy” just to keep it balanced would likely mortify my mother and confuse our kids. It’s simply too much hassle and feels reminiscent of Blanche Devereaux from The Golden Girls, who I adore for her fun-loving nature.
Neither of us fits the stereotype of “sugar daddies” or “sugar babies.” If you’re unsure what that means, a quick search might enlighten you, but maybe keep the kids away for that one. Ultimately, we circle back to “girlfriend” and “boyfriend,” despite my discomfort with it.
We face two options: come to terms with it or consider marriage. Since we’re on our own timeline and exploring what works for us, tying the knot solely for the sake of a label seems illogical. We might need to learn to accept it, at least until the next introduction where he calls me his girlfriend. I can’t promise I won’t let out a primal scream when that happens!
It’s high time someone invented a new label. Not just for me, but for everyone navigating this complex stage of life, with past relationships, new romances, and a reluctance to marry just for the sake of a title.
In summary, the struggle with relationship labels can be particularly challenging for those in the midst of life changes. As we explore our identities and connections, perhaps we can create terminology that better reflects our realities. For anyone interested in family planning, consider resources like Healthline’s guide on IUI or check out our options for at-home insemination kits for further information.
Keyphrase: Relationship Labels
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