As a 37-year-old parent of two, I must admit: I often feel like I’m just pretending to navigate adulthood. Despite my efforts to keep things organized—like crafting grocery lists, trimming tiny nails, and scheduling family dental appointments—I can’t shake the nagging feeling that I am ill-equipped to manage my own life, let alone the lives of the two little ones I claim on my tax return. Here are some signs that suggest I might not be as grown-up as I seem:
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Ironing? What’s That?
I’ve never been one for ironing. After lugging my unused ironing board through multiple moves, I finally surrendered and gave it to my brother, who actually knows how to use it. My go-to methods involve tossing clothes in the dryer with a damp washcloth or hanging them in the bathroom while I shower. Really, who cares about wrinkles when you’re buying clothes from Target? -
Dry Cleaning? No Thanks.
Isn’t dry cleaning a hallmark of adulthood? In shows like Sex and the City, characters are always picking up items from the cleaner. But for me, that’s too much hassle. When I buy something labeled “dry clean only,” I often end up wearing it repeatedly without washing it, before shoving it into my closet with the intention to eventually take it in. Spoiler: I never do. -
Terrified of Bees and Wasps.
One summer day, while enjoying a drink on the patio, a wasp landed on my bottle. I screamed, like a scene from a comedy, and watched as my glass shattered on the ground. Adults are supposed to handle these situations calmly, right? Apparently, I missed that memo. -
Balloon Knot Dilemma.
I can’t tie a knot in a balloon, which is somewhat embarrassing. I also have a deep-seated fear of balloons popping—something I unwittingly passed on to my oldest child. You know that party game where you sit on a balloon? Yeah, not happening for us. -
Unqualified for Parenting Decisions.
When my kids ask me questions, I often look around as if someone else must be in charge. Can they watch another show? Eat another popsicle? Go to a sleepover? Honestly, I feel like I might just be their babysitter, not their actual parent. -
Champagne Corks Are a No-Go.
I always ask someone else to open the champagne—it’s similar to my balloon fear. I’d rather avoid any embarrassing attempts at uncorking. I struggle with even those simple corkscrews where you just push and pull. -
Directionally Challenged.
Finding my way around malls and parking lots is a nightmare. I often find myself swearing and even tearing up while driving. -
Out of Touch with Current Events.
When conversations turn to politics or news, I often nod politely, pretending to understand. I can never recall what fracking is, either. -
Behind on Popular TV Shows.
We’re perpetually behind on trending series. We just finished Breaking Bad and started House of Cards. I haven’t even watched Mad Men or Downton Abbey. I tried The Walking Dead, but when a zombie appeared in the first scene? Nope, I was done. -
Chopstick Struggles.
Using chopsticks? Forget it. It’s just plain embarrassing.
On my tougher days, I remind myself that I still make meaningful contributions to my family and society. Not every adult can flawlessly quote obscure films from the ’80s and ’90s, write assertive letters to unsatisfactory businesses, or spot typos on public signs. I suspect I’m not alone in experiencing “Adult Imposter Syndrome.” Are you just faking it too? I hope so!
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In summary, feeling like an imposter in adulthood is more common than you might think. Recognizing these traits can help you understand that you’re not alone in this journey of parenthood and personal growth.
Keyphrase: Adult Imposter Syndrome
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