My 20-month-old son is expressing his discontent. He wants the all-metal cowboy cap gun that his older siblings are engrossed with. They pull the trigger, and a satisfying clunk resonates through the room. They aim it at imaginary foes and at walls, engaging in playful battles while wearing it in a cheap holster.
Five years ago, I would have never condoned this behavior. I have always been staunchly anti-gun, believing that handguns should be banned. I vowed my children would never be allowed to play with guns, especially not handguns, as I viewed them solely as instruments of harm. Allowing them to play with toy guns seemed to endorse the notion that they were harmless, inadvertently supporting the gun lobby’s agenda. I was determined to keep my children away from anything related to guns.
The shift began with the introduction of “Star Wars.” My partner showed it to our eldest when he was three. Suddenly, the term “blaster” entered our vocabulary. Lacking a blaster of his own, he started constructing them from Duplo blocks, which scattered throughout our home. Outside, he found sticks shaped like guns, pointing them at friends and declaring “pew, pew, pew” with an instinctual flair.
Acknowledging defeat, I conceded that this was a losing battle. My son would fashion a gun from his fingers if I continued to take away the makeshift ones. I decided to allow him to play with “blasters” but insisted they should only be aimed at imaginary villains and not real people. A close friend and I established the same guidelines during our playdates, repeatedly instructing our sons not to point their Duplo creations at each other.
Despite our best efforts, it was clear that the boys were still aiming their pretend weapons at one another when we weren’t watching. We often reminded them, “No pointing blasters at people!” Eventually, the term “gun” crept into our discussions. My friend and I reiterated, “No guns pointed at people!” but the message lost its impact as we gradually surrendered to the inevitable.
This acceptance led to my son owning his very own blaster—round and somewhat cute, yet equipped with a real trigger that emitted a loud noise and flashed lights. He cherished it above all his toys. Initially, it felt like a small victory since I consistently labeled it a “blaster.” However, once one entered our home, an influx followed. My eldest son was nearing five, and his younger brother, age three, demanded his own blaster. Soon, they wanted even more—water pistols for summer fun, of course. Every imaginary game revolved around their new arsenal, which included swords and various other toys.
I remained steadfast in my resolve to avoid realistic-looking guns. They could have a plethora of blasters, but nothing that could be directly identified as a gun. That was until my three-year-old received a reward for using the potty. While shopping in a quaint store, he spotted a cowboy cap gun. Tempted by a good deal, I allowed him to take it to the register. He was overjoyed to open it in the car, and just like that, a bona fide toy gun entered our home.
I still harbor mixed feelings about this development. While I don’t relish the constant gunplay, I’ve observed that they typically direct their play at imaginary foes rather than each other. We’ve had a serious discussion regarding the importance of safety, especially about what to do if they encounter a real gun. I remain a proponent of gun control, but I’ve come to realize that parenting often diverges from personal beliefs. Perfection is unattainable, and sometimes, this means allowing kids to engage in pretend battles. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine.
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Summary:
Navigating the complexities of childhood play can sometimes lead parents to unexpected compromises. Initially resistant to toy guns, I found myself gradually allowing my children to engage in imaginative play involving blasters and cowboy cap guns. Despite my personal beliefs about gun safety, I recognized the importance of balancing parenting and principles, ultimately understanding that it’s natural for children to explore their imagination—even if it means engaging in playful battles.
Keyphrase: toy gun dilemma
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