In the landscape of parenting discussions, particularly within mom-centric Facebook groups and forums, there exists a recurring issue. It’s not the endless inquiries about pediatric healthcare providers, nor is it the sharing of alarmist articles on vaccines, or the frequent questions about whether a baby’s runny nose is typical (hint: it is, and this will continue for years). The real concern is that virtually every post begins with the same word: “Mama.”
“Hey Mamas!” “Hi Mamas!” “New Mama here!” “Mamas, I need your advice!” “Mamas, please stop sending vaccine articles!” “What would I do without you, Mamas?” “Mamas, big news: my baby said ‘Mama’ today!” And let’s not forget the almost musical repetition that can feel overwhelming.
It’s not that I dislike the term itself. It was charming when I first heard it uttered by a free-spirited stranger at my initial Grateful Dead concert. I felt emotional joy when my children first pronounced it, their tiny voices spilling it out clumsily. Initially, I embraced the title when other mothers referred to me as “Mama.” I take pride in my role as a mother and appreciate the community of mothers I connect with online and offline. However, over time, the term “mama” has transformed into a cumbersome label.
While “mama” serves as an easy way to address a group of women sharing parenting experiences, the overuse of the term, especially online, spills into everyday life. I am addressed as “mama” by the pediatrician examining my child, the cashier at the grocery store, and even during fitness classes when instructors shout, “All the mamas in the room!”
This constant labeling diminishes our individuality, reducing us to a singular identity. I am a mother, yes, but I am also a wife, a daughter, a stepdaughter, a daughter-in-law, and soon-to-be aunt. I am a writer, producer, yoga instructor, comedian, and a novice basketball player. I hold a college degree, identify as a feminist, and I am a passionate voter. I love reading, have my anxieties, and yes, I might be a tad too obsessed with the show “Outlander.” I am also a dedicated fan of Phish and will admit to my enjoyment of the “Twilight” series. Although I’ve given up coffee, I still sneak it occasionally, and I struggle with the Diva Cup despite my best efforts.
The moment we embark on our parenting journey, society tends to declare that motherhood overshadows everything else about us. It seems irrelevant if you are pursuing an education, managing a business, or simply putting on real pants in the morning—if you’re not focused on being a “mama” and crafting a perfect life, who are you? We mothers deserve recognition of our multifaceted identities and the expansion of our lives beyond just motherhood. Celebrating our role as mothers is essential, but so is acknowledging the entirety of who we are.
Whenever my husband and I are out without our children, someone often asks about who is taking care of them, as if their welfare rests entirely on my shoulders. My husband, a devoted father and partner, is rarely referred to as “Papa” in stores or in conversations, nor is he defined solely by the children he helped create. I want my full identity to be recognized and celebrated, and I wish for the world to see me as more than just “Mama.” And I know that many others share this sentiment.
Only my children are permitted to call me “Mama.” The broader world needs to adopt a different term. And no, “Mommy” doesn’t count. For more information on home insemination resources, check out this article on the subject and this resource from a well-respected institution. You can also find useful products at this link.
In summary, the term “mama” can sometimes overshadow the diverse identities that women hold. While motherhood is significant, it should not be the sole definition of a woman’s worth or identity.
Keyphrase: “The complexities of motherhood”
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]