Huey Lewis asks, “Is this it?” and I find myself pondering the same question. I vividly remember the first time I heard that song on my boom box in my room back in 1985; at that moment, I never imagined I’d be coaching a soccer team that struggled with losing players due to a lack of challenge. Honestly, I was barely aware of soccer in 1985.
As I shared this rather bizarre scenario with my partner, he mentioned that this wasn’t even on his radar. I completely understood. Our driveway was occupied by a backhoe, a sign of a major and costly drainage project that had been neglected for far too long. As we sat in silence, our children filled the air with chatter about their day, soccer tryouts, and scoring goals. I caught my partner gazing outside and wondered if he was also reflecting on Huey Lewis’s lyrics. Did he ever think, as a child in 1985, that he would be sitting here on a Wednesday eating hotdogs and questioning whether we could manage our latest home improvement project? Is this it? In my kitchen, I focused on my children as we transitioned to the next phase of our evening.
This next phase can easily be termed “Roundup.” It’s a whirlwind of activity. Lunch boxes are checked and packed for the following day, dinner plates are cleared and washed, coffee is brewed, and our pets receive their evening care. Finally, the kids get into their pajamas. You would think this would be a peaceful time. I’ve seen countless images on the Internet and Pinterest suggesting that this is the perfect moment for calm reading. However, I have never been able to achieve a tranquil evening routine. Even during their baby years, our evenings were a noisy affair, often concluding in tears. At least now they can dress themselves.
While taking our dog out for her final evening walk, I found myself still preoccupied with the soccer dilemma. I had made promises to my younger self about the kind of mother I would be. A significant part of those promises involved not becoming overly invested in my children’s accomplishments, as if I were vicariously living through them. Yet, it’s astonishingly easy to fall into that trap. I genuinely want my kids to thrive, but it must come from within them. The most significant challenge in parenting has been demonstrating that genuine desire must originate internally, rather than from external pressures. Eight years ago, I would have claimed that potty training, breastfeeding, and sleep training were my biggest hurdles. Perspective truly is everything.
As I returned from our brief walk, I envisioned my daughter playing soccer, beaming as if she were on camera. The team may have lost, but her smile remained intact. Just last week, she asked if she could play with her cousins on the way home. This memory reassured me that I might actually be on the right path toward achieving my goals as a mother.
Reflecting on my 1985 self-listening to Huey Lewis in my purple bedroom, perhaps I was unknowingly contemplating moments like this one. While the specifics may have eluded me, the underlying intention was clear. If I could manage to get my twins to sleep through the night (a term I use loosely), then I can certainly navigate this next parenting stage, often referred to as “the middle.” Some days are certainly messier than others, but it is undeniably a transitional phase. The foundation laid in the past several years will play a crucial role as we approach the teenage years, where that groundwork must be sturdy. Now, adjustments can be made as we go along.
Upon returning home, I was sharply reminded that this is, indeed, it. In my brief absence, a typical sibling dispute erupted into the usual chaos of yelling, crying, and pinching. As I trudged upstairs, I could hear the shower running where my partner was likely pretending to be oblivious to the ruckus. Meanwhile, our dog snatched up a cherished stuffed animal and hid it, triggering even more screaming. I tucked everyone into bed, which also included remaking my seven-year-old’s bed, as I do every night. After delivering kisses all around, I returned downstairs, poured myself a glass of pinot, and settled in to unwind. Soon, my partner and I would make predictions about which child would struggle to sleep that night and which homework assignment had been overlooked. We would also review the day and discuss plans for tomorrow. If we felt particularly adventurous, we might even talk about our aspirations for the future and set a new goal. And in that moment, I realized that I had found my answer to Huey Lewis’s inquiry.
In summary, life is an ongoing journey, punctuated by moments of reflection and growth. Parenting comes with its unique set of challenges, but as I navigate these experiences, I realize that the essence lies not in external validation, but in fostering a sense of internal motivation within my children. The song by Huey Lewis serves as a reminder of my own path, guiding me toward acceptance and peace with my life’s narrative.
Keyphrase: Parenting Reflection
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