Why I No Longer Worry About My Son with Special Needs

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I grew up in a time when children with disabilities were often overlooked or avoided. It was common for my peers and me to steer clear of kids who walked differently, those who had respiratory issues, or individuals who required assistance in school. While I never engaged in overt bullying, I was guilty of treating these children as if they were invisible.

I still remember a girl in my class who had severe scoliosis and struggled to speak due to her condition. Her slow, labored speech made me uncomfortable, and rather than learning about her struggles, I allowed ignorance to cloud my understanding. I didn’t fully appreciate the challenges she faced, including the intensive therapy required for her to walk.

In seventh grade, I witnessed a classmate have a seizure during recess. We all stood in stunned silence as the teachers called for help. Although he returned to school the next day, I never inquired about his well-being. I can only imagine the emotional and physical toll it took for him to confront a classroom of peers after such a traumatic experience.

Reflecting on my childhood, I often wrestle with the contrast between the naive child I once was and the mother I have become to a son with a rare genetic disorder. My son, Ethan, lives with chronic lung disease stemming from deformities in his ribcage, and his growth is not typical. He has just begun to take independent steps, but his gait resembles that of a tipsy sailor, partly due to the leg braces he has worn for years. He struggles with breathing and has relied on oxygen for quite some time, using a loud machine to assist him at night.

The irony is not lost on me. I grew up in an era when disabilities were often met with fear and misunderstanding. Many adults would hush any inquiry related to disabilities, stifling curiosity and conversation. As a result, societal perceptions were often negative, viewing disabilities as something that happened “to” a family rather than as part of the human experience.

Given my past, it would be reasonable for me to fear for Ethan’s social future. Would he face isolation on the school bus or be overlooked during gym class? Surprisingly, I find myself feeling optimistic.

One significant change since my childhood is the rise of the Internet, which has amplified the voices of individuals with disabilities. In today’s world, I can access blogs discussing parenting children with Down syndrome, spina bifida, cystic fibrosis, and various other diagnoses. Diverse perspectives are readily available from healthcare providers, parents, educators, and even the individuals themselves.

We are now in an era where kindness is increasingly valued, and unkind behavior is often condemned. The collective consciousness has shifted toward empathy, and it’s up to us as parents to nurture this environment. We must encourage our children to engage with classmates who may be different, to ask thoughtful questions, and to recognize that every step—whether taken on feet or wheels—is a remarkable achievement.

Let us guide the next generation toward a more compassionate mindset, steering them away from the ignorance of the past and toward a future where understanding and kindness prevail.

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Summary

In reflecting on my childhood experiences with disabilities, I’ve grown to embrace a more compassionate perspective as a mother to a son with special needs. The cultural shift toward kindness and understanding provides hope for his social future, and it is our responsibility as parents to foster this environment.

Keyphrase: Understanding Disabilities in Children
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