As I cross the threshold into my 40s, I can’t help but reflect on my past. The cashier recently referred to me as “Ma’am,” a clear indicator of my age. Turning 40 didn’t bring an overwhelming sense of wisdom or maturity; instead, it served as a reminder that certain fashion choices—like glittery eyeshadow and miniskirts—are no longer my best look. However, I still embrace a few playful braids in my hair without any shame.
Looking back at old photographs, I feel a mix of nostalgia and tenderness for the girl I once was. It’s amusing to recall my belief that sharing a kiss in the basement while Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” played was a sign of true love. It’s almost hilarious to think I considered myself cool while working as a carpenter, cigarette in hand, casually ashing into a soda bottle. And those perms? Let’s not even go there.
While I wish I could erase the memory of that double-breasted, acid-wash denim jacket with faux suede panels, I cherish the moments I spent obsessing over Rick Astley. I don’t regret the times I fell for the wrong guys; those hours spent with my boom box replaying “If You Leave” and “Groovy Kind of Love” hold a special place in my heart. We experience our youth in real-time, without the hindsight that brings clarity.
This wisdom will be vital as I guide my daughters through their own teenage challenges. I want them to explore their identities, make questionable fashion choices, and experience crushes on people who don’t deserve their affection. However, I hope they steer clear of cigarettes, as maternal understanding only goes so far.
As we approach the tumultuous tween years, I plan to lean on these seven songs when I’m unsure about how much to share or how to direct my girls. Each song transports me to moments filled with emotion, connecting me to a side of myself that isn’t overly stressed.
1. “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper
This anthem resonates through the ups and downs of mood changes—both mine and theirs.
“Oh mother dear, we’re not the fortunate ones, and girls, they want to have fun.”
2. “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds
No matter the challenges we face, our bond remains strong, along with our shared love for movies like Pitch Perfect.
“Will you call my name as you walk on by?”
3. “Mr. Jones” by Counting Crows
We’re all searching for our place in the world, striving to fit in and be accepted.
“We all want to be big stars, but we don’t know why.”
4. “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia
This song serves as a reminder that heartbreak feels all-consuming in the moment, but it eventually fades.
“I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel.”
5. “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt
Allowing emotions to surface is essential; suppressing my daughters’ feelings wouldn’t be fair.
“Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts.”
6. “Right Here, Right Now” by Jesus Jones
Focusing on the present moment is crucial, as dwelling on the past steals away our joy.
“Right here, right now, there is no other place I want to be.”
7. “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran
I often wonder if my daughters will look back on the songs they love today with the same fondness.
“I wonder if when I’m older, will you remember me?”
These melodies will be my guide as I navigate the inevitable challenges of parenting. Perhaps it’s all part of a larger plan, and I’ll continue to learn from my past while hoping my girls understand me as they grow.
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In summary, these songs evoke memories that not only connect me to my past but also provide a framework for understanding and guiding my daughters through their formative years. As a parent in my 40s, I embrace the wisdom gained from my experiences, hoping to empower my girls as they navigate their own journeys.
Keyphrase: 7 songs that help me parent in my 40s
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