My Effective Strategy for Addressing ‘I’m Bored’

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Parenting

By Jessie Taylor
Updated: June 22, 2023
Originally Published: June 25, 2021

As a parent, I was taken aback when my 5-year-old son first uttered the phrase, “I’m bored.” I had anticipated that I would have a few more years before he became acquainted with the concept of boredom. After all, he was content playing with simple objects, like transferring pennies from one container to another. Yet, there it was: “Mom, I’m bored.” Initially, I responded by suggesting he engage with his toys, read books, or play with his siblings. I even resorted to the age-old tactic of threatening him with chores.

However, after a long weekend spent away from screens, I experienced a sensation I hadn’t felt in years: boredom. The challenge of disconnecting from my smartphone proved more arduous than expected. By the end of those three days, I realized that my constant need to check my phone during idle moments had diminished my capacity for creativity—a struggle I often attributed to my busy life as a parent.

I then encountered the “Bored and Brilliant” initiative on WNYC, which encouraged listeners to forgo their devices for a week. The host, Nora, highlighted that boredom can serve as a catalyst for creativity. When we resist the urge to seek immediate stimulation, we create mental space that fosters innovative thoughts. Boredom arises not from a lack of activities, but from an internal conflict between our desire for stimulation and our current engagement with the world. Psychologist John Eastwood describes this state as an “unengaged mind.” Dr. Teresa Belton’s research at the University of East Anglia revealed that many creative professionals attribute their inspiration to moments of boredom, suggesting that without allowing ourselves to experience boredom, we limit our creative potential.

In American culture, boredom is often viewed negatively, equated with laziness or a lack of intelligence. We prioritize constant busyness and productivity, mistakenly considering boredom a predicament to be resolved. So when my son lumbers into the kitchen lamenting, “I’m bored,” my immediate instinct is to find a solution.

Yet, following my experience with the “Bored and Brilliant” challenge, I had a revelation regarding boredom. Now, when he expresses his discontent, I calmly respond, “It’s perfectly fine to be bored.” Initially, he protested vehemently, insisting that boredom was unacceptable, reflecting the societal pressure to remain entertained. I gently reiterated my stance and resumed my activities, allowing him to navigate his boredom. Recently, this led him to create an imaginative “printer/shredder” using yoga blocks and paper towel tubes, showcasing his creativity.

When he eventually grew tired of that project, he lounged on the couch, gazing out the window. I refrained from suggesting he engage in a different activity, instead putting my phone away and joining him in enjoying the moment. It’s essential to recognize that it’s okay to be bored.

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In summary, embracing boredom can lead to creativity and innovation, both in children and adults. As parents, allowing our children space to experience boredom enables them to explore their imaginations and develop their problem-solving skills.

Keyphrase: Addressing Childhood Boredom
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