Let’s address the topic of co-sleeping candidly. While I have participated in this practice with each of my children up until they reached around three months of age, I found it beneficial primarily during the breastfeeding phase. It allowed me the convenience of feeding without having to leave my bed or even put on pants. I could remain in a state of semi-consciousness while my baby nursed beside me.
However, once I transitioned back to my own comfort, I was eager to reclaim my personal space. We successfully moved our children into their own cribs and rooms, and the adjustment was relatively seamless. Soon, everyone was sleeping more soundly.
Now that my toddler is three, she enjoys her own queen-sized bed. My partner and I still share moments with her—reading stories and comforting her during nighttime fears—but we do so on our own terms. Once she falls asleep, we retreat to our own room.
Here’s why I personally cannot endorse co-sleeping:
Space
: As a work-from-home mom, I am constantly surrounded by my children. If they aren’t physically attached to me, they are likely trying to transfer their sticky fingers onto my clothing. Sometimes, I simply crave a moment to lie down without anyone touching me—a rare opportunity to gather my thoughts and recharge without the concern of a potential diaper disaster.
Safety: While co-sleeping can be safe when done correctly, the dynamics change as babies grow. Once they outgrow their swaddled phase, they often develop the agility of little ninjas. A peaceful night can quickly turn chaotic when a tiny body rolls over unexpectedly, leaving you gasping for air.
Intimacy: During my brief stint of co-sleeping, intimacy was not an issue as I was recovering postpartum. However, many parents claim they find “creative” ways to maintain their connection. But where do they find the privacy to do so? With children always nearby, true intimacy becomes a rare commodity, usually reserved for after hours behind closed doors.
Sanctuary: In a home where everything I own is shared with my kids, my bed remains my one personal sanctuary. I don’t feel guilty about protecting this space. It’s where I can enjoy reading, writing, or simply relishing in silence. If I choose to watch TV or listen to music, it’s on my terms—no cartoons or annoying kids’ songs allowed.
Quality Sleep: Although I may not get ample sleep, the sleep I do receive must be of good quality. Being constantly woken up by little kicks or unexpected movements doesn’t lend itself to restorative rest. Every little noise can be disruptive, and even rolling over can lead to anxiety about whether I’ve landed on something wet.
To clarify, I fully respect that families must make decisions that suit their unique situations. However, for those who choose co-sleeping, consider investing in a larger bed for your child. Sharing your sleeping space can mean sacrificing personal comfort and relaxation, which might not be the most practical choice.
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In summary, while co-sleeping can work for some families, it’s essential to weigh the pros and cons. The need for personal space, safety, and quality rest plays a significant role in how you choose to manage your family’s sleeping arrangements.
Keyphrase: Co-sleeping
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