As a parent, it’s easy to believe that we share the same fundamental hopes and worries for our children, regardless of their gender. However, as a mother of boys, I’ve come to realize that my concerns often differ from those of mothers raising daughters. The experiences of parenting boys and girls can be distinctly different. While moms of boys often find themselves straddling the line between Boy World and Girl World, it seems that moms of girls may not always reciprocate that understanding. Here are six key points I wish moms of daughters would keep in mind about raising boys.
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We’re Not Making Excuses
Moms of boys are not in the business of rationalizing the behavior of our sons under the “boys will be boys” mantra. We recognize the importance of setting clear expectations regarding their interactions with girls and modeling healthy relationships ourselves. At the same time, we also need to provide opportunities for our sons to engage in rough play and have “boys-only” spaces. Sometimes, we hold back from addressing inappropriate comments immediately, understanding that making a scene could embarrass them in front of their peers. We’re committed to guiding our sons’ behavior and correcting it when necessary, even if we stumble occasionally. -
Concerns About Sexual Violence Affect Us Too
When headlines spotlight issues like sexual assault, the narrative often turns to a blanket statement about men. This can be troubling, as it may perpetuate the idea that all boys are potential aggressors. Conversely, we also hear disturbing comments about protecting daughters from boys. We understand the fears surrounding our daughters’ safety, but we wish for our sons to be seen as individuals who can contribute positively to the conversation. We are actively working to instill respect for women in our boys, just as you are for your daughters. -
Dress Codes Are a Shared Concern
The ongoing discourse around dress codes that unfairly target girls resonates with us too. We don’t believe that our sons are driven into distraction by a tank top or yoga pants. It’s essential to recognize that boys typically aren’t mindless creatures who can’t control their impulses. When girls are told to dress a certain way to avoid distracting boys, it sends an unhealthy message about both genders. We advocate for dress codes that apply equally, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect. -
We Support Equal Opportunities for All
Moms of boys cheer on initiatives like Girls on the Run and Girls Who Code because we believe in providing equal opportunities for all children. We appreciate spaces for girls to thrive in sports and STEM fields but also want the same for our sons. There’s enough room for everyone to explore their passions, and diversity only enriches our communities. -
We’re Raising Feminists
While the term “feminist” can be polarizing, we strive to teach our sons that they are not confined to traditional gender roles. In our household, we encourage shared responsibilities and teach that both men and women are capable of succeeding in all areas. We seek out female protagonists in literature and media for our sons to admire. Our goal is to foster an environment where they embrace the idea of equality and respect for women without feeling threatened by empowered women. -
We Sometimes Feel Isolated
As children progress into upper elementary and beyond, social dynamics can shift, leading to more segregated friendships along gender lines. This transition can leave us feeling somewhat excluded from the social circles we once shared with our “girl-mom” friends. While we cherish our unique bond with our sons, we miss the camaraderie and conversations we used to have. We hope that as our children grow, we can maintain those friendships, even if their interests diverge.
As a mother of boys, I hope that mothers of daughters recognize our shared commitment to raising compassionate and respectful children. Ultimately, despite our differing experiences, we are all on the same parenting team.
In conclusion, understanding each other’s perspectives can foster a supportive environment for all children, ensuring they grow into kind, respectful individuals.
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Keyphrase: Raising Boys vs. Raising Girls
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