When I was young, attending church every Sunday and participating in midweek gatherings was standard for me. My mother, a second-generation follower of Christian Science, opted out of all medical interventions for herself and my siblings. I vividly recall praying for improved eyesight, hoping to avoid glasses—an effort that ultimately went unanswered. My siblings and I often relied on divine power while battling illnesses like measles and chickenpox, as vaccinations were not part of our upbringing. It was only as an adult that I finally received my immunizations. A particularly harrowing experience during my ninth-grade picnic, where I was ejected from a convertible, left me seriously injured and alone in an ICU. In that vulnerable moment, I felt a strange sense of relief knowing my mother was away at a church convention; otherwise, I might have faced her distressing reaction.
In contrast, my husband grew up attending Bible camps in the South, where children as young as nine were confronted with intense questions about their faith, such as whether they would stand firm in their beliefs even in the face of death. Our two children, however, have never been part of organized religion, and interestingly, they don’t seem to miss it. This doesn’t imply they lack faith or belief in goodness, but rather that their understanding of spirituality is shaped differently—free from the fire and brimstone often associated with traditional religious teachings.
Our family embraces a different kind of faith, one that prioritizes kindness and compassion above all. We’ve instilled in our children the importance of treating others with respect and empathy, and they have learned to appreciate their privileges. They understand the value of hard work and honesty, recognizing that integrity is fundamental to any success they achieve. They take responsibility for their actions and communicate respectfully with one another. Furthermore, we remind them daily of their fortunate circumstances, especially in a world that can often be harsh and unjust—particularly for girls. It’s essential for them to acknowledge their advantages, from receiving a quality education to enjoying the comforts of home.
When our children inquire about the nature of God, we explain that God embodies Love—an all-encompassing force that connects everyone. If they question what God looks like, we encourage them to reflect on the love they feel, pointing to their hearts as the place where that connection resides. We guide them to seek solace through meditation, portraying God as a compassionate friend eager to listen and provide guidance. We want them to understand they are part of a larger good, and that their contributions are necessary in a world that needs more kindness.
Like many modern parents, we’ve distanced ourselves from conventional religious practices, often due to personal experiences with discrimination or inconsistencies within religious teachings. Some parents, like us, may not find God within the confines of traditional institutions but instead discover a more personal spirituality in everyday life. Our children won’t have to grapple with the contradictions that can arise from dogmatic beliefs, as we encourage them to form their own understanding of spirituality.
I anticipate they will have questions as they grow older. However, I feel confident in my ability to address their curiosities honestly. I share my uncertainties about life’s mysteries with them, accepting that not all answers are clear-cut. I believe that their inner compass, shaped by the values we’ve instilled, will guide them well. I trust that they are okay, and I believe their understanding of goodness aligns with a higher power.
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In summary, as parents, we strive to nurture our children’s understanding of kindness, compassion, and personal responsibility. Our approach to spirituality may differ from traditional views, but we believe it fosters a meaningful connection to the world around them.
Keyphrase: Values in Parenting
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