Updated: July 5, 2023
Originally Published: June 10, 2021
Not long ago, a colleague casually mentioned that a well-known figure from my youth, Jeremy Klein, just celebrated his 70th birthday. Jeremy, a staple on the music scene, was someone I’d associated with my younger years. It was a shock to hear; surely, it couldn’t be true. A quick check on Wikipedia confirmed it: Mr. Klein officially joined the ranks of septuagenarians last month. While I extend my warmest wishes for his birthday, this revelation was just another reminder that time is moving forward, and so am I.
Recently, I found myself in a conversation with a coworker in their early twenties, passionately advocating for the importance of exploring new opportunities at this stage in life. “This is the time to try everything!” I exclaimed. “Trust me, as you age, it only gets more complicated. Enjoy these years!” Then, during a family outing at the beach, my vibrant 8-year-old daughter looked at me in my swimsuit and genuinely remarked, “Mom, you’d be so pretty if you were younger.”
I’ve also noticed I’m being addressed as “ma’am” with increasing frequency. It’s disconcerting to reference popular culture from the ’90s only to be met with blank stares from younger individuals—“You see, Friends was a show about a group of twenty-somethings navigating life… Oh, never mind.”
In a few months, I’ll officially close the chapter on my 30s. It feels like the approach of 40 is swift and inevitable, prompting me to question: How did I arrive here? I don’t feel like I’m on the brink of 40.
Yet, my life reflects that of a typical 40-year-old. I’ve been married for a decade, have two children, and own a home. I drive a family-friendly vehicle and attend PTA meetings. I wear glasses when driving at night and regularly consult a dermatologist—thanks to my carefree ’90s youth, which often involved neglecting sunscreen. My thoughts often revolve around saving for retirement and contemplating whether cosmetic procedures, like Botox, might be worth it.
My apprehension about turning 40 isn’t rooted in vanity or unfulfilled aspirations. If you had asked me at 20 what my life would look like at 40, I would have painted an almost identical picture. But the thought of crossing into my forties—the Big 4-0—is unsettling.
As a parent of a kindergartner, I frequently help with math homework, discussing addition and subtraction. It dawned on me recently that, until now, my life has been about “adding to.” I’ve built a life filled with partnerships, a career, children, a home, and friendships. These years have been about growth and creation.
However, I recognize that the next phase of my life will inevitably involve some “taking away.” My children will grow more independent, and my beloved parents will age too—a reality I’m reluctant to face. Friends may relocate or drift apart. Gradually, the pieces of this life I’ve carefully constructed over the past four decades may slip away.
I’ve never been one to cling to material possessions, often channeling my inner Marie Kondo when decluttering. Yet, as the milestone of 40 approaches, it feels as though an instinct to hold on has emerged. I want to cherish the people I love, to pause time, even if just for a moment. But I know that’s impossible.
When seeking clarity, I often turn to the wisdom of writers and poets. One such poet, Emily Sanders, offers insights that resonate deeply:
“To thrive in this world, you must embrace three things: to cherish what is fleeting; to hold it close, knowing your existence relies on it; and when the moment arrives to let it go, to do so gracefully.”
As I prepare for the next 40 years, I recognize that I will need to embrace the art of letting go—something I certainly resent. But for now, I will continue to love fiercely, holding my family close, while also striving to enhance their lives.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Claire Thompson shares her thoughts on aging as she approaches her 40s. With humor and honesty, she navigates feelings of nostalgia, the inevitable changes in relationships, and the need to embrace both love and loss. While she grapples with the reality of turning 40, she resolves to cherish her loved ones and continue adding to their lives, despite the challenges that may lie ahead.
Keyphrase: aging and self-reflection
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