Today, by all standards, was quite ordinary. In fact, many of our days resemble this one—filled with routine, devoid of remarkable events, and lacking grand celebrations. It’s interesting to note that these seemingly mundane days constitute the bulk of our lives. Life is not solely defined by peak moments or significant achievements. Often, the exhilaration derived from those high points is temporary, fading before we can fully appreciate them. Instead, it is the ordinary days that linger in our memory. As John Lennon famously stated, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” I believe that life truly unfolds in the rhythm of our everyday experiences.
Yet, the messages we receive—from advertisements to social media—often idolize the extraordinary. This cultural narrative can leave us feeling inadequate, as if we are constantly falling short of an ideal. We encourage our children to dream big, to aspire to greatness, and to recognize their inherent goodness. While these aspirations are important, I ponder if, in our pursuit of instilling ambition, we overlook the value of appreciating the ordinary. Are we so focused on teaching them to chase grand dreams that we neglect to cultivate an appreciation for life’s quieter joys? Are we sacrificing a lifetime of meaningful experiences for the sake of a singular moment of brilliance?
Fortunately, children seem naturally inclined to find joy in the simple moments of life. My youngest, Oliver, beams with pride when someone praises the snacks he picked out, and he feels a sense of accomplishment when he can cheer up his sibling. Children inherently desire to love and be loved, to act kindly, and to do the right thing.
Not long ago, my son, Ethan, shared with my partner how he was struggling with a classmate. We discussed how sometimes kids just need a friend and explored ways Ethan could support him. We encouraged him to be especially kind the next day. When I met him on the playground after school, Ethan dashed over with excitement, exclaiming, “Guess what?! I was really nice to Liam, and he was nice back!” This was a remarkable moment for him. Unlike other times when he would casually share news about school, this instance was filled with joy and pride. It was a reminder that acts of kindness and bravery can feel extraordinary.
While children may dream of becoming astronauts or famous actors, I believe what they truly crave is the reassurance that their quieter dreams—like being a loyal friend, working hard, and loving fully—are just as significant. When I was young, my dreams leaned toward motherhood, nurturing a happy family, and creating lasting relationships. Sure, I had aspirations of adventure and excitement, but the core of my desires revolved around building a loving home and sharing simple joys with my family.
Now that I find myself living out those dreams, I sometimes struggle with the notion of not being enough. The pressure to excel in all aspects of life—family, work, friendships—can lead to feelings of inadequacy. I often hear the familiar refrain from others who, despite being good parents, partners, and friends, feel as if they are falling short.
This brings me to a crucial question: How can we support our children’s grand ambitions while also nurturing their appreciation for the simple joys? How can we help them reach for the stars without neglecting the richness of the present? Preventing our children from feeling the sense of inadequacy that so many adults experience begins with us. It requires honoring our aspirations while embracing our quieter dreams with pride. We need to celebrate our efforts in kindness, love, and bravery, regardless of the outcome.
There is a well-known poem by William Martin that begins with the line, “Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives.” It encourages us to make the ordinary vibrant for them, as the extraordinary will naturally take care of itself. I resonate deeply with this perspective; when I focus on achieving recognition or prestige, I often end up disappointed. Yet, when I engage in activities with kindness and a full heart, the results tend to be profoundly rewarding.
As parents, we all envision remarkable futures for our children. However, alongside these aspirations, I wish for them to find contentment in their everyday lives. I hope they learn the importance of being good friends, cherishing relationships, and navigating life’s complexities with grace. I want them to value simple gestures—a heartfelt letter, a warm hug, or a moment of silence. Most importantly, as they drift to sleep each night, I hope their final thought is: “Today was special. Today, I loved and was loved. Today, I truly lived.”
In summary, fostering an appreciation for the ordinary in our children can help them cultivate a more fulfilling life. By balancing encouragement for their aspirations with an understanding of the beauty in everyday moments, we can guide them toward a life that is both extraordinary and grounded.
Keyphrase: Teaching Children to Appreciate the Ordinary
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