Before proceeding, take a moment to close your eyes and reflect on your happiest childhood recollection. What comes to mind? Who were you with, and what were you doing?
If you’re like many, the memories that surface are often those shared with friends rather than parents. Michael Thompson, PhD, author of Homesick and Happy: How Time Away From Parents Can Help a Child Grow, notes that when he engages with parent groups, only about 20 percent recall special family outings or holidays. The majority—around 80 percent—remember the adventures had with peers, exploring the world independently, and enjoying moments away from parental supervision.
Indeed, time away from us can be a valuable experience for children.
Currently, I’m contemplating Thompson’s insightful book as my 9-year-old daughter, Clara, prepares for her first sleepaway camp experience. Like her, I attended sleepaway camp after fourth grade and found it to be transformative. I cherish those summers filled with friendships, laughter, adventurous canoe trips, and, of course, s’mores. While I am excited for her, I also feel a tinge of apprehension. What if she dislikes it? Or worse, what if she loves it too much?
My mother once shared that my time at sleepaway camp marked her realization that parenting doesn’t always revolve around constant care. At the time, I didn’t grasp her meaning, but now it resonates deeply. Clara has evolved from a dependent infant into a capable child who can handle being away from home for a couple of weeks—albeit under adult supervision. It was Clara’s own desire to attend camp, likely inspired by my fond memories, that led to this decision.
Isn’t this what we strive for? For our children to cultivate independence and take the necessary steps to navigate the world on their own? Thompson compellingly argues that time away from both family and school allows children to discover their strengths and face challenges that equip them with essential life skills. Most importantly, he emphasizes that giving our kids the gift of freedom from our watchful eyes—despite our good intentions—can be invaluable. As he eloquently states, “We cannot keep our children perfectly safe, but we can drive them crazy trying.”
It’s entirely possible that Clara might arrive at camp, feel homesick, and beg to come home after just a few days. I am bracing for that. However, I also need to prepare for the possibility that she may thrive and feel sad—and maybe even upset—when it’s time for her to return.
During those two weeks, while I might be anxiously wondering about her wellbeing and worrying about potential mishaps, she may very well be too engrossed in her adventures to think of me. And that’s perfectly fine. I hope her time at camp is exhilarating and liberating, even if it brings a bittersweet feeling for me.
In summary, allowing children time away from parents fosters independence and resilience. This is an essential part of their growth, enabling them to experience the world in their own way. For those interested in learning more about the journey of family planning and home insemination, check out this resource and another excellent source for further insight.
Keyphrase: Granting Children Independence
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