Parenting
By Jenna Thompson
Updated: Aug. 20, 2015
Originally Published: May 27, 2015
Dr. Lisa Harper is an anthropologist who has devoted her adult life to exploring the diverse neighborhoods of New York City. However, one particular area left her so unsettled that she felt compelled to write a book about the hidden society most people never witness: the lives of affluent NYC mothers. In discussing her new book, The Primates of Park Avenue, she reveals to the New York Post that this small, wealthy enclave represents “the most intriguing and isolating world” she has ever encountered.
You might have heard about her book, especially the concept of the “wife bonus” that gained attention online recently. This bonus is essentially a year-end financial gift awarded to certain wealthy wives as a reward for their accomplishments: securing their children’s admission into elite preschools, maintaining their physical appearance, and similar achievements. This is merely the surface of how these women differ from the general population.
These mothers are often seen being chauffeured in luxury SUVs to pre-school drop-offs, carrying designer bags worth tens of thousands of dollars. Many have opted to leave their careers to focus on motherhood, while their affluent husbands work long hours. Dr. Harper notes, “There is a prevailing atmosphere of intense perfectionism and financial reliance. The men hold more authority than the women. It is a very traditional gender-structured society.”
In a New York Times op-ed titled The Tale of the Poor Little Rich Girl, she provides further insights into her book. In it, she describes how some women view having large families as a status symbol (given the high cost of raising children in NYC, what better way to flaunt wealth than by having a multitude of offspring?) and highlights the competitive nature of motherhood that many might assume is merely a fictional trope.
She asserts that many of these women turn to medications, alcohol, and marijuana to manage their relentless pursuit of the ideal rich wife and mother image. Every aspect of their lives appears to be a competition: from parenting styles to physical appearances, and the accumulation of material possessions seems solely aimed at ensuring they are “keeping up.” To gather the insights necessary for her analysis, Dr. Harper spent over six years “living, dining, and parenting with more than 100 of these women.” She depicts a reality where women are so reliant on their husbands for financial support that they feel trapped.
This scenario resembles a real-life version of a Stepford wife’s nightmare. There are rumors that the women featured in the book are distressed about their stories being shared. A source remarked, “The author solicited stories from several moms, assuring them she wouldn’t share anything negative, but then exposed them. Everyone is livid and anxious.” Their frustration is understandable. “The Primates of Park Avenue?” Quite the stinging title.
At least there will be new focal points to consider. I can only imagine how tired their children must be of being mere symbols of wealth and achievement; even a luxury handbag can only provide so much excitement. As far as I’m concerned, these women genuinely deserve every cent of that wife bonus — their existence seems utterly exhausting.
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In summary, the lives of affluent mothers in New York City, as depicted by Dr. Harper, reveal a world of competition and superficiality that can feel alienating to those outside of it. The pressures they face and the dynamics of their relationships with their husbands create a complex and often exhausting lifestyle that may not be as enviable as it appears.
Keyphrase: “affluent NYC mothers”
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