My daughter made a definitive statement about her style on her third birthday when she refused to wear a Hawaiian dress adorned with purple and white hibiscus flowers. “I am not a doll!” she declared, stomping her feet, arms crossed. Since that day, dresses have been absent from her wardrobe, even for special occasions like her first communion or family weddings. Instead, she opted for white pants and a green jacket for her communion, and she managed to dodge dresses by playing goalie in lacrosse and percussion in band.
This year, however, as she and her friends approach their 13th birthdays and prepare for numerous bar and bat mitzvahs, her resistance to dresses has presented a challenge. For her friend’s bat mitzvah, she initially suggested wearing khakis and a long-sleeve T-shirt—an improvement from her usual cargo pants and hoodie, but not quite dressy enough. After some negotiation, she settled on wearing her black band pants paired with a simple blue button-down shirt, but it still didn’t meet the dress code.
With limited options, we faced the inevitable trip to the mall, which I generally dread. My preferred shopping venues are Ann Taylor or Loft, or online at Garnet Hill, but today was different. We began our outing at a café to discuss acceptable colors—anything but pink, purple, and flowers—which thankfully opened up a range of options.
I prepared her for the chaotic atmosphere of the juniors’ department, filled with loud music and frilly designs. As we walked through, we playfully pointed out the extravagant dresses that were completely contrary to her style. A quick detour to the children’s section revealed that she had outgrown that area, leading us to the adult section, which unfortunately proved to be a disappointment as well.
Just as she was about to give in and stick with her khakis, I approached a salesperson for assistance, knowing we were at Nordstrom, a store known for its helpful staff. The salesperson introduced us to a selection of black and white tops, silky black pants, and cardigan sweaters. After some reluctance, my daughter chose a geometric-patterned top along with a black cardigan, insisting she would wear her band pants. We encouraged her to try on the silky black pants for a complete look.
To our surprise, she loved the harem pants—loose-fitting and as comfortable as her cargo pants. She also appreciated the fancy black high-top sneakers that featured a convenient back zipper, eliminating the need to tie laces. While the outfit might not meet the typical standards for a bar mitzvah, it accurately reflected her style and comfort.
When it came time to pay, I asked her to rate her comfort level in the new outfit on a scale from one to ten—ten being her beloved cargo pants, and one being a dress. Without hesitation, she replied, “7.” The salesperson and I agreed that achieving a comfort level of 7 in a dressy outfit was a notable success.
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In summary, finding the right clothing for a tomboy teen can be challenging, but with patience and open-mindedness, it is possible to create an outfit that honors their personal style while still being appropriate for the occasion.
Keyphrase: fashion choices for tomboy teens
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