As I approach my 32nd birthday, I find it remarkable that I’ve never indulged in a spa experience. I’ve never treated myself to a manicure or pedicure, and my muscles have never been soothed by a professional massage. To top it off, my eyebrows look like they’re engaged in a rather chaotic battle.
There are a few reasons for this: first, I genuinely don’t think I require such pampering; second, I really don’t need it; and third, the very thought of these experiences fills me with anxiety. Will it hurt? Is that the intention? What maintenance is required? Will a massage therapist judge me for my cellulite? And what color nail polish is appropriate for my toes?
However, I decided it was time to prioritize self-care. As a mother, I often neglect my own needs, and while indulging in nachos for dinner every night felt like a treat, my tight jeans were a painful reminder that I needed something more nourishing.
So, I purchased a facial mask, lured in by its promise of “anti-stress.” I would have applied anything if it meant alleviating my stress, even if it contained questionable ingredients.
Here are 55 thoughts that raced through my mind before, during, and after this self-care experiment:
- How much product should I apply?
- Clearly, that was insufficient; now I need to wash my hands and grab more.
- Can this be applied to my eyebrows?
- Well, it is now.
- And somehow, it’s in my hair too.
- Why is the neck included in the instructions? Is there something wrong with my neck?
- Did I miss a spot? Will it cause issues if not all areas are treated equally?
- Done! Now, to wash my hands…
- I resemble a very confused Smurf.
- Is this mask actually working?
- I’m unsure—should something be happening?
- No, I must relax. This is my time. Just breathe.
- How long has passed?
- Are the kids awake?
- What if they wake up and there’s a crisis? Would I have to live with this mask?
- Kids are asleep. Just breathe.
- Boredom is setting in.
- Is anything happening at all?
- Should I be doing something productive? Maybe I should shave my legs.
- No, just sit and relax. Reflect.
- Actually, I’ll check my phone.
- Nothing interesting on social media.
- Should I delete these apps and focus on the moment?
- Oh, my skin is tingling. Is that normal?
- Now my face feels cold—is the window open?
- It’s chilly. Is the mask working, or am I losing my mind?
- What exactly is this mask doing? What’s entering my pores?
- Surprisingly, the cold sensation is rather pleasant.
- I wonder if my partner would appreciate this look.
- Either he was joking or he has an unusual preference. I’ll assume it’s the former.
- Is the mask dry yet?
- La la la…
- I bought a magazine—time to flip through it.
- Who are these people? Why am I so out of the loop?
- I should subscribe to this magazine for my birthday—need to stay informed.
- Can I deduct that subscription on my taxes?
- What about this mask? Can I write it off too?
- My skin feels tighter. Is it drying?
- Is this the sensation of an eye lift?
- Yup, it’s definitely tightening. I hope there aren’t tiny aliens at work here.
- If there are tiny aliens, they better compensate me for my participation.
- It’s dry everywhere except my neck. Should I leave that alone?
- Who cares about my neck? Time to remove this mask.
- Why are the clean washcloths always white?
- If this stains the cloth, I’ll just let it go.
- Rinse, rinse, rinse. Did I remove it all?
- Missed a spot.
- Gently patting my face dry…
- I can’t tell if there’s any change; I didn’t notice my pores before.
- Oh wow, my skin feels incredibly soft.
- Stop touching your face—oils are bad, right?
- Am I still stressed?
- Actually, no. I relaxed. I did something for myself. That’s a win!
- Wait, I’m still stressed. But my skin is soft, so that’s something.
- Seriously, stop touching your face.
In summary, engaging in a facial mask may seem like a simple act, but it serves as a reminder that self-care is essential, particularly for those of us in caregiving roles. If you’re interested in further exploring personal wellness, consider checking out resources on artificial insemination, such as this informative article on Wikipedia, or discover effective options for enhancing fertility at Make A Mom.
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