Recently, I found myself in a state of frustration after yet another exhausting experience of swimsuit shopping. Before becoming a parent, I could confidently choose my size without even stepping into a fitting room. Those days seem long gone, as I now stand outside the dressing room, an array of sizes in hand, feeling less than confident and slightly overheated, as if I were involved in some covert operation.
The changes to my body didn’t occur overnight; it took nine months to nurture a new life, so why did I ever expect my body to revert back to its pre-baby state immediately? Perhaps the images of fit celebrity mothers in glossy magazines contributed to my unrealistic expectations. The journey to achieving a healthier body is long and often frustrating. However, there are rare moments when I can look at my stomach without feeling a wave of self-doubt. That’s progress!
Like many, I often find myself attributing my discontent to societal pressures. It seems somewhat ironic that women are only encouraged to embrace their bodies during pregnancy. Once I moved past the stage of “is it a baby or just a food baby?” during my pregnancy, I reveled in the ability to wear fitted clothing without fuss. Now, I only wear something snug if it’s a laundry day emergency. I’ve been known to dodge the delivery person while donning my comfiest loungewear.
With summer around the corner and the desire to avoid social isolation, I decided it was time to tackle swimsuit shopping once again. While I’m not quite ready to embrace the classic black one-piece, I also don’t fit into the target market for bright, tribal-patterned bikinis. This left me sifting through racks in search of something that strikes a balance between practical and stylish.
After selecting a few options, I entered the fitting room, only to be confronted by a mirror that seemed to distort reality. I certainly don’t recall having cellulite in those areas. Just when I thought I had experienced my most embarrassing moment—accidentally sneezing and farting during my OB-GYN appointment—the universe had other plans. I struggled to pull the swimsuit bottoms past my thighs, feeling as though they were cutting off my circulation. Nevertheless, my pride pushed me to shimmy and jump until they finally fit. The discomfort was akin to being tied up with twine. This experience surely warranted a pint of ice cream, at minimum.
In the end, I chose a swimsuit that resembled a beige loafer, functional but lacking in flair. Opting for a two-piece made me feel somewhat daring, so it was a small victory. I managed to avoid the dreaded muu muu for swim events, which felt like an achievement in itself. Perhaps next summer, I’ll find the confidence to stop cropping myself out of family beach photos.
This article was originally published on May 14, 2015.
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Summary:
Navigating swimsuit season post-pregnancy can be a challenging experience filled with self-doubt and societal pressures. As one embraces their body’s changes, the journey toward finding a suitable swimsuit can be fraught with frustration but also moments of empowerment. Ultimately, the goal is to find comfort and confidence in swimwear choices, moving beyond past insecurities.
Keyphrase: My complex relationship with swimsuit season
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