Why I’ve Chosen Not to Home-School My Children

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In recent times, there has been a surge of discussions surrounding the challenges of public schooling. I have friends who are dedicated to home-schooling, and as I enjoy a refreshing Diet Coke while my kids are occupied elsewhere, I often question my own choices.

This morning, with my partner, Alex, working an overnight shift, I was solely responsible for getting the kids ready for school. My morning routine sounded a bit like this: “Emma, please put on your shoes. Emma, don’t forget to comb your hair. Emma, did you just wipe your nose and run your fingers through your bangs? You’re ten; why am I still putting your shoes on? Liam, eat your toast. No, you cannot take three oranges for a snack today. Why? Because you didn’t finish the one orange I packed yesterday, and trust me, you don’t want to deal with that. Liam, where are your library books? They’re exactly where I told you to put them last night, by your bedside, next to the fish tank. They’re not there? Where could they have gone? And how is the fish still alive?”

As the clock ticked away, I muttered under my breath and escalated into frantic yelling about being late. Suddenly, I transformed from an exhausted minivan mom into a character reminiscent of a drill sergeant from a war movie.

As I pulled out of the driveway, I realized I had left a large cup of water on the roof of the car. My neighbor noticed and kindly gestured to me, but I pretended not to see him and sped down the street.

Once in the carpool line, I found ourselves stuck at the back. I reverted to my loud drill instructor voice: “KIDS! GET OUT OF THE CAR! YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE!” Liam struggled with the heavy door, and the rules dictate that you can’t exit the car, even if your kids seem to be in distress. I pleaded with Emma to help him. (I might have inadvertently made a case for home-schooling here.)

By this point, Liam was in tears, and Emma managed to open the door for him. “MOMMY! I HAAAAAAATE THIS VAN DOOR!” I sped through the carpool lane, feeling overwhelmed.

At that moment, I spotted one of my favorite teachers, whom I always try (and fail) to impress. She waved at me, and I could almost hear her silently vowing never to be in my position, all while maintaining a polite smile. I interpreted that smile as both sympathetic and condescending.

Returning home, I had to change my youngest, Mia, who is three and a half and had made quite the mess. My sister-in-law, who seems to have it all together, home-schools her children successfully. Their home is immaculate, resembling a magazine spread, and they host gatherings frequently, which only adds to my self-doubt.

For a long time, I felt guilty for not opting to home-school my children until I came to a realization: at this moment, it simply isn’t for us. I recently discovered from a friend that “a lot” is actually two words. Would you entrust your kids to me?

I hold a four-year degree in education from a small university in Iowa, which included courses on arts and crafts, support techniques for peers, and analyzing Judy Blume novels. My motivation for teaching stemmed from a genuine desire to work with children.

I do impart lessons to my kids regularly. I teach them practical skills like unloading the dishwasher and the importance of personal hygiene. I educate them on social dynamics—why it’s essential to be kind and how gossip can harm friendships. These teachings may not include equations or spelling rules, but they encompass valuable life lessons that matter.

I’ve decided to release the guilt associated with not pursuing something that is evidently not suitable for our current situation. For now, I will leave the formal teaching to the professionals, as I am still mastering the art of “Getting My Kids to School.”

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Summary

In this candid reflection, the author shares her experience of navigating the chaotic mornings of getting her children ready for school. She contrasts her reality with that of her organized sister-in-law who successfully home-schools her kids. Ultimately, she embraces the notion that life lessons are just as valuable as academic ones, and she acknowledges that home-schooling may not be the right fit for her family right now.

Keyphrase: Choosing Not to Home-School

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