“Mom, what does prawnstitution mean?”
And thus commenced an enlightening conversation about sexuality, instigated by an episode of a popular animated series. My son, who was 10 at the time, had previously steered clear of discussions that included explicit content. I recalled a moment from years ago when he innocently asked his father why Noah needed two of each animal on the ark, and upon hearing the answer, he promptly declared, “I don’t want to hear any more about this…”
Now, however, we found ourselves sharing a mother-son moment in front of the television—where so many memorable interactions unfold. Recognizing the importance of this opportunity, I chose to engage him. After all, one can never be too sure about the content of health classes these days, and I wanted to ensure he was well-informed.
“A prawn is a type of large shrimp, and prostitution refers to individuals—often women, but not exclusively—engaging in sexual acts for money, rather than for emotional connection,” I explained.
He took a moment to absorb this information, and I encouraged him to ask any further questions he might have about sex.
“Well… a friend of mine—let’s call him Oliver—said something unexpected. He mentioned that a penis gets really big and then goes INSIDE a vagina.”
Oliver seems to have quite the understanding of these matters. I confirmed his assertion.
“Really!” he exclaimed, sounding as if he had just learned that someone less intelligent had won a prestigious award.
His curiosity continued. While traditional wisdom suggests that fathers should discuss these topics with sons, I wasn’t about to interrupt our bonding moment to find my husband. I wanted to clarify any misconceptions he might have, especially since it seemed Oliver, not health class, was shaping his understanding of this vital subject. I reassured him that thinking about sex is completely normal at his age, as is feeling confused, fascinated, or even uninterested.
I also touched on the involuntary physical responses boys may experience, triggered by various stimuli like attractive individuals or even just random thoughts. I mentioned that dreams related to this topic are also typical.
“Well THAT’s a relief,” he said, appearing content but still not making direct eye contact. We were still engrossed in the show as Zoidberg scurried across the screen.
After a brief pause, he asked, “How often do people have sex?”
A thought-provoking question with no definitive answer. I explained that it varies widely among individuals and couples. I consciously avoided delving into the complexities of long-term relationships, focusing instead on what he could grasp.
“So, do you and Dad have sex?”
“Um, yes, we do,” I admitted.
“How often?”
It would have been simple to brush off his question with a “that’s private.” Discussing sex in an abstract manner is straightforward, but sharing personal details is a different matter. However, I recognized that he was seeking context, much like I had when my mother explained menstruation—I was curious about the physical experience itself.
“Um, a couple of days ago,” I said cautiously.
“Really!” he responded, that same tone of surprise returning.
I steered the conversation back to him as we shared a comfortable silence.
“You can always talk to your dad about this too,” I mentioned.
“I think I’m comfortable talking to you,” he replied.
“Okay.”
“Can we go back to watching Futurama now?”
“Sure.”
And so concluded our important discussion about the facts of life.
Reflecting on my own childhood in the ’70s, I recall a controversial book titled Show Me that was intended to educate children about sex but left many of us horrified with its explicit content. Banned in several regions due to its graphic nature, it took sex education down an uncomfortable path. I remember asking my mother when I would have to engage in sexual activity, and she reassured me that it would only occur when I truly wanted it to. “Good!” I thought. “Then I’ll never have to.”
Times have certainly evolved. As a parent, I strive to balance conveying that sex is a normal, wonderful part of life while also emphasizing that it’s not something to be anxious about for many years to come. Yet, I find myself worrying. Are they seeking information from others? Will they need therapy later because their curiosity about sex was sparked by a cartoon?
For now, we continue to navigate these discussions as they come.
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Summary
Discussing sex with children can be a daunting but necessary task. Using relatable prompts from media can help initiate these conversations. It’s crucial to provide accurate information while also allowing children the freedom to explore their feelings about sexuality. Balancing openness with appropriate boundaries is key to fostering a healthy understanding of sexual health.
Keyphrase: Discussing Sexuality with Children
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