Updated: Feb. 26, 2016
Originally Published: April 6, 2015
It’s time to stop feeling perpetually rushed. Enough of the endless laundry that seems to multiply. Enough with fundraising events that only feed into larger fundraising goals. Enough with the confusion over turn lanes in traffic. Enough with digital invites cluttering my inbox. Enough with the relentless emails asking if I saw the Evite. Enough with juggling multiple browser tabs (I’m talking about my computer, not a bar). Enough with the cycle of shaming, whether it’s directed at others or myself. Enough with outrageous shipping costs. Enough of overused musical gimmicks. Just enough!
I feel irritable. Everything around me screams urgency! There’s no time to breathe. Even on a relaxing Sunday morning, when I’m sitting on my porch with a new book, there’s this nagging sensation that I should be somewhere, doing something. It feels like there’s always something overdue or lost, always something that demands attention, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being judged for either my failures or my attempts to just take a break. But who, exactly, is judging me?
The truth is: probably no one. The angst that I constantly feel—of not measuring up, of always lagging behind, and the guilt that comes when I try to slow down—this pressure is largely self-imposed, isn’t it?
It’s exhausting!
I could write an extensive piece on the societal expectations that burden women. I could analyze the self-inflicted pressures we impose upon ourselves. There could be a follow-up discussing the benchmarks we use to evaluate our worth. I could delve into how this culture of comparison creates a psychological maze where every woman feels scrutinized by others. And yet, despite countless articles urging women to let go of the need to have it all together, it still seems like perfection—or at least a semblance of satisfaction—is just out of reach. If only the kids could hop in the car a bit quicker. If only I could remember to purchase laundry detergent. If only I could file that e-bill correctly. If only!
Recently, while walking home with my kids from a neighborhood Easter celebration, I felt overwhelmed. Despite their enjoyment, I felt like I was under a microscope. My children were among the oldest at the event, and while I wasn’t running after them with a camera or fussing over them like younger parents, it dawned on me that I was now the “Mom of Big Kids.” The one who attracts curious looks from younger mothers.
But what I wanted to convey to those new moms is that I’m still very much engaged in my children’s lives. I worry just as much about their safety at play as anyone else does. Perhaps those sidelong glances were not judgment after all; maybe they were expressions of empathy. They, too, might be lost in their thoughts, wondering why their child is the one causing a scene or questioning their partner’s choices. Our exchanged looks might simply reflect shared experiences rather than judgment.
After the party, while walking home, my youngest lagged behind, taking his time. My initial reaction was impatience as I urged him to hurry. But then he held up a tiny leaf with a rollie pollie on it, saying, “I gotta keep him safe. He’s so little I might not find him if he falls.”
In that moment, I was reminded of something crucial: Every moment isn’t just another tick on the clock. Each moment holds value beyond mere existence.
It’s time to stop feeling inadequate. Sometimes, the most vital part of the day is to slow down enough to appreciate the little things. They can be challenging to rediscover once they are lost.
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Summary
Parenting can often feel overwhelming, with societal pressures and self-imposed standards leading to stress and feelings of inadequacy. It’s important to remember that each moment should be cherished, not just seen as a step towards the next. Slowing down can help us appreciate the little things that matter most.
Keyphrase: Stress-free parenting
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