As I journey deeper into my 40s, I’ve come to recognize a widely held belief that suggests women at this stage of life should have found a sense of contentment and inner peace. While I do find that I’m less troubled by many of the concerns that occupied my 20s, I cannot claim to have achieved complete tranquility or self-satisfaction. Doubt and unease continue to make their presence known in my daily life.
A persistent feeling lingers within me—a sense of not having accomplished all I should have. Whether it’s preparing a quick snack for my children or crafting a work-related piece, I often feel compelled to enhance it further when a simple gesture would suffice. For example, when I present my kids with a washed apple, I know I’m providing a healthy option; yet my mind still chimes in with a list of “buts”: “But it’s not organic,” “But they asked for a snack an hour ago,” and “But what about dinner plans?”
I remind my children to appreciate what they have and assure them that doing their best is sufficient. Yet, I struggle to extend that same grace to myself. I am constantly shifting my standards, as if my efforts are only valid if I haven’t yet reached my ideal state.
This constant striving can manifest in various aspects of my life, including fitness and self-image. Achieving my step goal on my fitness tracker feels less like a victory and more like an invitation for self-critique. No matter how much I accomplish, there’s always a voice questioning whether I could have pushed myself harder. When I buy clothes I believe are flattering, I often end up scrutinizing my reflection, focusing on perceived flaws rather than appreciating my appearance.
Is it possible that I fear being enough? My children certainly don’t concern themselves with whether their snacks are organic. I seem to be waiting for a moment when everything aligns perfectly, allowing me to declare, “Now, that’s the kind of mom I want to be!”
What if I embraced the imperfections? Instead of obsessing over the dust from the Christmas tree or the stain on the picnic blanket, I could find joy in those memories. What if I accepted compliments from my partner, who appreciates me as I am?
I aspire to wake up feeling content with my wardrobe and to not dread the day ahead before I’ve even showered. While I recognize I may always have a tendency to overthink, I also realize there must be a healthier approach to my expectations. I could shift my focus from what I have yet to achieve to what I have already accomplished.
Although I understand that self-doubt may never completely disappear, I can start by lowering the bar. Perhaps the first step is to let go of the notion that I should be perfectly at peace in my 40s. This mindset shift could be a beneficial starting point on my journey toward greater self-acceptance.
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In summary, understanding that life in your 40s may not be as serene as anticipated can be liberating. Embracing imperfection and celebrating small victories can lead to a more fulfilling experience, fostering greater satisfaction in the present moment.
Keyphrase: finding inner peace in your 40s
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