When my partner is away, I find myself managing the chaos of our five children solo, without the benefit of an extra pair of helping hands. When he’s around, he plays a crucial role—giving baths, tucking the kids in, and handling the endless cycle of carpooling. He’s also an expert at washing dishes.
But when he’s gone? It’s just me—constantly overwhelmed, often exhausted, and buried under piles of laundry, all while desperately trying to maintain some semblance of order.
Interestingly, when their father is home, our younger kids sleep soundly, resembling peaceful little angels. However, the moment he leaves, that tranquility vanishes. Suddenly, my 2-year-old decides that 2 a.m. is the perfect time to discuss the intricacies of how a car engine operates, where the moon is located, or the workings of an air conditioner. It’s reminiscent of a scene from The Shining—minus the ominous REDRUM.
In a twist of irony, we also have three dogs—probably my doing, though I’ll never admit it. When Dad is away, the dogs take it upon themselves to bark incessantly throughout the night. And their canine companions from the neighborhood join in, creating a cacophony of barks that can only be described as a symphony of chaos.
As if that weren’t enough, there’s a high likelihood that the toilet will clog during these times, potentially flooding the bathroom. And, of course, someone will inevitably fall ill—usually not just a mild sickness, but something that requires antibiotics and comes with feverish moans. Sometimes, that someone might even be me. But in the world of stay-at-home parenting, there are no days off. The mantra remains: just power through.
All activities, from practices to recitals, tend to fall on me when I’m alone, resulting in relentless driving for pickups and drop-offs. There are days when I feel like I should just move into the car permanently.
My partner works in Silicon Valley, a place that can be likened to the backdrop of an HBO series. His role involves socializing, attending gatherings, and enjoying perks like office beer. Meanwhile, his fun days are my extremely challenging ones at home, filled with the reality of cleaning up messes. This disparity might be all in my head, especially when I’m knee-deep in household chaos.
To be fair, there’s beer in the fridge at home too—I just never seem to find the time to enjoy it.
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In summary, parenting five kids alone while Dad is away is an exhausting, chaotic, yet oddly fulfilling experience. From sleepless nights filled with endless questions to managing unexpected messes, it’s a journey that tests your limits but also showcases resilience.
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