As my eldest son approaches his junior year of high school, the pressure to prepare for college is mounting. With ACT exams, financial aid workshops, and campus tours on the horizon, there’s a lot for him to manage—and for me to stress over.
According to numerous college preparation checklists I’ve reviewed, I should be far more proactive in this process. However, I haven’t enrolled Ethan in an ACT prep course, nor have I explored the admissions requirements for state universities. We haven’t participated in college fairs, arranged any campus visits, or researched scholarship opportunities.
To be honest, it’s unlikely that Ethan—a moderately performing high school student—will gain admission to the top universities in our state, let alone receive merit-based financial aid. Yet, my indifference stems from more than just that reality. While I acknowledge the value of higher education, I also believe that many students may not be ready to transition directly into college after high school—or even at all.
I can relate to that sentiment. My own high school experience was filled with social engagements and creative endeavors, but my academic focus was often lacking. I excelled in subjects I was passionate about, but struggled in others, leading to a less-than-stellar academic record and a GPA that reflected my disinterest.
When my classmates headed off to college, I followed suit, enrolling in a mid-sized state university. Although I enjoyed my time there, my academic performance was poor, and I eventually dropped out after four semesters, burdened with student loans and still unsure of my career path.
Years later, as a mother and a more mature adult, I returned to education with renewed focus, achieving excellent grades. However, the moment I sold a piece to a national publication and discovered I could make a living as a writer, I began to question the necessity of a college degree. The financial implications of continuing my studies weighed heavily on me, especially as a mother of young children. Ultimately, I chose to leave college again, this time without regrets.
Fast forward over a decade, and I find myself grappling with the challenge of embracing a path I didn’t fully complete myself. Just the other day, Ethan casually remarked, “College is a scam.” Initially, I refuted his claim, but he pointed out that neither my partner Sam nor I finished our degrees, yet we are doing well in our respective fields.
Sam, who has a few certifications, has built a successful career in IT through self-directed learning and interpersonal skills. I’ve been a full-time writer for nearly a decade, and together, we’re financially stable, though not wealthy.
I understand that we are exceptions to the rule. A college degree often leads to greater employability, and self-employment isn’t for everyone—something I acknowledge because sometimes I wonder if my preference for this unpredictable lifestyle is unwise.
Given that we have five children, it was inevitable that one of them would share our outlook, and it just so happens to be our first child, Ethan. He is our experimental subject in navigating the pressures of academia, and I believe he will achieve great things in his unique way.
I think many parents could benefit from reconsidering the traditional path of high school to college to career. If more parents recognized the value of alternative routes, it could alleviate a significant amount of stress, struggle, and debt for young adults.
I’ve come to appreciate the merits of a self-directed career. While I sometimes worry about how other parents perceive my relaxed attitude toward Ethan’s post-high school plans, my primary responsibility as a parent is to understand and support each child as they embark on their own journey—regardless of societal expectations.
Many of our children will likely aspire to attend college, and while I may not fully grasp that desire, I respect it. If Ethan chooses to take his time exploring different paths—whether that involves starting a business, learning a trade, or pursuing a creative career, as long as he is engaged with the world and working hard, I will fully support him.
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In summary, as a parent, my role is to support my child’s individuality and choices, ensuring he embarks on a path that resonates with his aspirations and abilities, irrespective of traditional expectations.
Keyphrase: college journey
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