As a mother, it’s common to feel guilt over prioritizing your own needs. However, it’s essential to acknowledge your own well-being. Just last night, I indulged in the largest bowl of ice cream, keeping it all to myself—not sharing it with my partner or children. This morning, I enjoyed my coffee while my kids independently prepared their lunches. I supervised from the comfort of my couch, catching up with the news and enjoying some personal time.
After this, I’ll be heading out for a much-needed run with friends while my partner and kids are busy with their own responsibilities. Sure, grocery shopping needs to be done, but my family isn’t in danger of starvation by me taking this time for myself. Recently, I enjoyed two leisurely lunches with a friend, simply to catch up and unwind. In fact, I’ve even managed to read two books this month, often during the day while my children were awake. One sunny Sunday afternoon was particularly enjoyable, as I read for three hours outside on a lounge chair, sipping seltzer while laundry waited in the background.
Some might label this behavior as selfish, but is it really?
Every day, I hear mothers bemoaning their lack of time for basic self-care activities like showering or reading a book. They often proclaim how long it’s been since they’ve shopped for themselves, yet their children’s wardrobes are overflowing. Each time I hear these sentiments, they’re accompanied by a resigned look, as if this is the inherent nature of motherhood. I disagree.
Why Self-Care Matters
Why is there an unspoken rule that mothers must martyr themselves for their children? Who decided that a mother’s needs come last? Growing up, I was fascinated by my mother’s closet filled with beautiful clothes and shoes. She had things that represented a different side of her—an aspect of her life that wasn’t solely centered around us kids. She taught me the importance of treating oneself, whether it was a nice haircut, a coffee break during errands, or a lunch with friends when the stress became overwhelming.
Of course, when you are in the throes of parenting toddlers or caring for a newborn, it’s often challenging to step away for personal time. However, small moments of self-care can still be incorporated into the daily chaos. Sometimes, it’s okay for mom to have the last cookie or take a moment to scroll through social media while the kids play.
I’m not advocating for complete disengagement from your responsibilities. We inherently want to nurture and support our children. But at what point did we collectively decide that prioritizing our own needs was selfish?
The truth is, neglecting self-care—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—hinders our ability to care for others. If we don’t nurture ourselves, we can’t be our best selves for those we love. For instance, a simple pedicure can significantly improve your mood and your ability to handle the day’s challenges.
I know how hectic motherhood can be, and I recognize those days when it feels like a marathon just to get through the hours. But remember, taking just ten minutes for a shower can provide a much-needed reset. Your world will not collapse if you take time for yourself. Your children will not suffer if you read a book for twenty minutes or take a moment to breathe.
Make Self-Care a Priority
So, make a conscious effort today to prioritize yourself. Enjoy that big bowl of ice cream, order the extra-large latte, or take an extra mile on your run. You deserve it! And when the kids ask about the broken cookie, just wink and say, “I’m the mom; that’s why.”
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In summary, taking time for yourself is not only beneficial but essential. Remember, a happier mom translates to a happier family dynamic.
Keyphrase: Self-Care for Mothers
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