I recently entered into matrimony, am raising two children, own a home, and work full-time. At first glance, these aspects of my life may seem ordinary. Perhaps you can relate to them. However, if I had been born just half a century earlier, I would not have many of the rights I currently enjoy—rights that allow me to choose whom I love, make decisions about my body, and own property.
I won’t delve into an exhaustive history of feminism—primarily because I am not well-versed in it—but I do understand this fundamental truth: my life as it stands today would not be feasible without the advancements brought about by feminism. In the mid-1800s, women in the United States gained the right to own property, a significant shift given that women were once considered property themselves. At that time, husbands or fathers owned not just the land, but also their wives and any financial assets. If a husband passed away, a wife might inherit his property, yet she was often barred from making decisions about it. It was simply a matter of keeping assets within the family or under the control of male relatives. This historical context still influences contemporary debates around issues like reproductive rights and marriage equality.
Post-college, I embraced the idea that my contributions to society could extend beyond domestic responsibilities. I secured a job that paid me an income, which I used to cover my rent, indulge in dining out, and, admittedly, gain a few pounds. This newfound independence was my first taste of feminism’s impact. Early feminists fought for women to live independently, without relying on a father or husband for financial support. I owe them gratitude.
While enjoying life (perhaps a bit too much of certain cheeses), I met someone special—another woman who earned her own income, had her own home, and qualified for a bank loan. After a year of dating, we decided we wanted to commit to each other for life. However, at that time, legal recognition for same-sex unions was nonexistent; there were no laws acknowledging a woman’s right to marry another woman. Thus, we opted for the next best alternative: we purchased property together and opened a joint checking account. For many, including our employers (but not the government), this showed our commitment enough to access additional benefits, such as health insurance coverage for each other and discounts at local gyms. Yet, even during these moments of progress, we still faced outdated assumptions—like being asked whether we wanted separate checks at dinner.
After a decade together and owning four dogs, we decided to expand our family. This was where financial resources became crucial. I purchased tests, medical procedures, and even sperm donations, all of which were not covered by our health insurance, despite my generous plan. After three years of navigating credit card debt and emotional stress, I became a mother to a daughter and later, another.
Legally, I was recognized as the sole parent, so my partner had to go through the adoption process to establish her parental rights. This meant we paid for a social services evaluation to determine her suitability as a parent. I stood in court to affirm that my partner was indeed a loving parent to our children, dispelling any notions of coercion. She was there for every sleepless night, comforting our little ones and fiercely defending them from any negativity.
Months after our eldest started kindergarten, I received a call while taking our youngest back from a dentist appointment. “The Attorney General is issuing marriage licenses,” my partner announced.
“How ironic!” I responded. “Do you want to marry again?”
“Not really, but if it matters to you, I will.”
Just a week earlier, we had flown to Chicago, without family or friends, to marry in haste. We were hopeful about a potential “gay marriage” law passing in our state, but time was running out as the year drew to a close. So, we tied the knot and returned home.
Navigating the rights I’ve earned and managing my property has been a significant undertaking. Despite earning only 76 cents for every dollar that a man would earn for the same job, my partner and I have worked hard for what we have. We have filled out numerous forms and overcome obstacles to claim what, if we were a heterosexual couple, might have been more readily accepted or celebrated. Despite the challenges, I am deeply grateful for my life. Many individuals face far greater hardships.
As celebrities like Nicki Minaj, Shailene Woodley, and Carrie Underwood debate their relationships with feminism, I urge them to reflect on their own privileges—whether it be their luxurious lifestyles or the control they have over their lives—and consider how much of that autonomy would be relinquished if they were treated as property instead of owners. The ability to choose—this is the essence of feminism.
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In summary, feminism has shaped my life in profound ways, enabling me to exercise autonomy, form a family, and assert my rights as an individual.
Keyphrase: The Impact of Feminism on My Life
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