Updated: Dec. 26, 2023
Originally Published: March 9, 2023
The image of Mark Thompson on the living room floor feels more reminiscent of today than of the 1970s or even earlier. Back then, the concept of fathers engaging in the daily minutiae of parenting was largely absent among my father and his contemporaries. This disconnect can partly be attributed to the slow evolution of societal norms regarding gender roles and parenting responsibilities.
Certainly, the women’s rights movement had not yet infiltrated the suburban neighborhoods where we were raised. The prevailing mindset often revolved around the notion that a husband’s role primarily involved earning a living, while childcare was relegated to the mothers. Additionally, the phenomenon of “babies raising babies” played a significant role; my father, at the age of 22, resembled many young men today, albeit with a few notable differences: still clad in his pajamas, likely nursing a hangover, and struggling with skin issues, he was also tenderly cradling my infant sister.
As a father to four daughters and multiple grandkids, my dad has never boiled water or changed a diaper. My mom recounts a story about coming home to find me, as a toddler, soaked in my own mess, a testament to my father’s reluctance to engage in diaper duty. However, this was still better than the story of a family friend whose husband called her home from a gathering simply because he couldn’t handle a crying child.
My most vivid memories of dad involve our trips to the local fairgrounds, where he would hit golf balls while we scrambled to collect them. Sunday nights were a ritual where we massaged his feet while he watched the news, a practice he assured us would somehow help with his thinning hair.
Remarkably, my father has never read a book to a child, a reality that deeply resonates with me. I cherish the intimate moments of reading with my daughter, often wishing to capture the essence of those experiences. Yet, it’s hard to shake off the feeling of judgment from my father when I see my husband, Tom, reading to our daughter each morning. I can’t help but wonder what my dad thinks—would he view Tom’s dedication as a sign of weakness?
This apprehension often leads me to shield Tom from my father’s outdated views on fatherhood. Despite this, Tom remains a hands-on dad, waking up early with our daughter, preparing her breakfast, and engaging in outdoor adventures. The real question should be: What does my mom think? Thankfully, she views Tom as a hero.
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In summary, the generational divide in parenting styles can lead to misunderstandings and judgments, but it ultimately highlights the evolving nature of fatherhood and family dynamics. Embracing modern approaches while navigating traditional expectations can be challenging yet rewarding.
Keyphrase: Generational Parenting Styles
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