Babies have an undeniable allure, largely because they lack the ability to express their thoughts verbally. As my son grows older, I anticipate he’ll have some candid observations about life in our home and suggestions for improvement—especially regarding my decision to serve his bottles at room temperature, which probably feels like a frigid shock to him. He may also find many of my daily habits rather peculiar. Here are ten reasons I suspect he might consider me a bit creepy:
- I Watch Him Sleep: It’s true; I can’t resist sneaking glances at him while he slumbers. While many parents use video monitors, it must be unsettling to know someone is peering at you from a distance as you drift off to dreamland.
- I Have an Urge to Nibble on His Cheeks and Toes: I often describe his adorably plump features as “edible.” While there’s scientific reasoning behind this maternal instinct, it still comes off as odd from his perspective!
- I’m Obsessed with His Diaper Contents: Whether it’s the frequency or color, I’m overly interested in understanding his bowel movements.
- I Document Every Moment: My phone is filled with countless photos and videos of him. Think of the wild serial killer tropes in crime shows—only my collection is filled with love and not malice. Plus, the silly sounds I make to elicit smiles during these photo sessions could raise some eyebrows.
- Occasionally, I Skip Showers: I’m aware he probably judges me for this. If I were in his position, I’d find it concerning if my caregiver didn’t keep up with hygiene.
- I Taste-Test His Baby Food: I’m sure I’m not the only parent who does this! If I’m opting for organic, I want to ensure it’s palatable.
- I Refer to Myself in the Third Person: This is probably baffling to him.
- His Car Seat Faces Rearward: I’ve installed a mirror on the back seat headrest so I can keep an eye on him while driving, which might feel a bit intrusive from his point of view.
- I Select His Outfits Based on My Mood: A gloomy Monday might lead to a wardrobe of grays, while Fridays are all about vibrant colors.
- I Speak for Him with Nonsense Narration: If roles were reversed, I’d be highly irritated to hear someone making up dialogues for me. “Mommy’s feeling a bit fussy today because she needs a nap. And I think she might need to poop too!”
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In summary, being a parent often comes with quirks that might seem strange to our little ones. From monitoring their sleep to obsessing over their food, these behaviors could easily be misinterpreted as creepy. Understanding this dynamic can help us navigate parenthood with a sense of humor and empathy.
Keyphrase: baby thinks I’m a creep
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