The 5 Unavoidable Phases of Allowing Children to Assist

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Children are dynamic bundles of creativity and energy. The only moments when the chaos of dirt and noise isn’t trailing behind them are during their sleep. This is why I find myself frustrated each time they express a desire to help with household chores. Those innocent, enthusiastic requests often lead to a series of events that I end up regretting.

It’s not that I’m overly controlling—although I tend to become that way during simple tasks like sweeping. Instead, every time my kids get involved, I notice five distinct stages of disorder unfold.

Stage One – Unrealistic Expectations

I attribute this to the idealized portrayals in media. When my kids want to assist with cooking or cleaning, I envision cheerful little helpers completing tasks with bright smiles and a knack for following directions. Yet, as soon as we begin—sometimes even before—we veer off course, transitioning from hopeful guidance to ducking for cover and stifling my frustration.

Stage Two – The Mess

How do kids generate such monumental messes? For instance, a recipe calling for 1½ cups of flour ends up with a pound of flour scattered across the kitchen. I find eggshells underfoot while my preschooler, using the spatula as a toy, has dough smeared across his face. It’s a scene straight from a disaster movie.

Stage Three – The Nagging

To achieve any semblance of order, clear instructions are necessary. Unfortunately, directions like “keep the broom on the floor and walk slowly” get misinterpreted by kids as “Mom said I can wield this broom as a sword and run through the house!” This is how my living room window met its demise.

Stage Four – Disputes

When one child wants to push the grocery cart, the other immediately desires to do the same. If one is mixing batter, the other might cry in frustration. Disagreements escalate, and soon both kids want to throw everything down the stairs, leading to utter chaos.

Stage Five – The Clean-Up Aftermath

The final stage of this helping adventure typically involves finding a distraction, like a movie or even threatening a lengthy timeout, to keep the kids occupied while I tidy up. I often delegate the kids to my partner while I take my sweet time cleaning. Why rush? After all, the dishes can take up to two hours to get through to ensure a moment of peace and quiet!

People often tell me that I’ll be grateful when my children can eventually make their own lunches or do their own laundry. However, after experiencing the whirlwind of energy they unleash, I’ll believe it when I see it. In the meantime, I’ll be updating the warranties on my appliances.

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Summary:

Navigating the journey of allowing children to help with household tasks can be an adventurous yet chaotic experience. From unrealistic expectations to monumental messes and disputes, each stage can be overwhelming. Yet, amidst the chaos, there is humor and a reminder of the potential of future independence.

Keyphrase: stages of letting kids help
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