In recent discussions among my friends with teenage children, a recurring theme has emerged: the monumental significance of the “first kiss.” Some of their teens have taken the plunge into the intricate realm of smooching, while others yearn for that tender peck as fervently as one might crave a morning latte. Meanwhile, some teens seem far more absorbed in their digital worlds—after all, platforms like Minecraft and Instagram often seem more dependable than the unpredictable nature of adolescent emotions.
Many people are fortunate enough to experience a few electrifying kisses throughout their lives—moments that evoke feelings of divine connection, the notion of soulmates, or at the very least, the undeniable spark of chemistry. However, unless you’re living in a romantic comedy, your initial kissing experience is likely to be somewhat anticlimactic. My first kiss, for example, was memorable primarily for its sheer oddity.
My Two Soap Opera Suitors
At the tender age of 14, I found myself as a regular on the ABC soap opera One Life to Live (I previously detailed how that unfolded). In the early 1980s, the scandalous romance of Luke and Laura on General Hospital captivated audiences, prompting One Life to Live producers to create a love triangle for my character, Emma Sinclair, who was the long-lost teenage daughter of Llanview’s notorious villainess, Dorian Lord.
The producers decided that Emma required not just one, but two suitors vying for her affection before the summer break. One would be a polished country club type adored by Dorian, while the other would be a rough-around-the-edges mechanic whom Dorian disdained. The summer would see Emma torn between her choices.
In Real Life, I Had No Suitors
Unlike Emma, I had no romantic interests. At 14, I had a collection of crushes on teen heartthrobs like Joey Lawrence and Jonathan Taylor Thomas, but my admiration felt more like appreciating art than engaging with real people. Having attended an all-girls school from first through eighth grade, boys remained an enigma—both captivating and intimidating. My friends would discuss boys’ features and charms with a longing I had yet to comprehend.
The Day I Kissed 14 Boys at 14
On a sunny day in late April, I prepared for 14 staged first kisses on set, surrounded by a full crew and network executives. My mother and I learned that auditions for both love interests would occur simultaneously, each concluding with a passionate kiss. While my mother wanted to inform producers of my inexperience, I urged her to remain silent, confidently assuring her I was ready for the absurdity of my job.
Upon arriving at the studio, I was greeted by my 14 on-screen suitors—half were preppy and polished, while the other half exuded the charm of bad boys. They were all striking. One particular young man, with sandy hair and dimples, caught my attention, as he embodied an intoxicating mix of preppy and edgy, leading me to understand the allure of kissing someone truly charming.
In a moment of panic, I called my older sister for advice on kissing. After several rings, I panicked and reached out to my mother instead, who offered her unconventional wisdom. As the loudspeaker called me for makeup, I realized I had to embrace the moment and trust that I knew what I was doing—even if I was just pretending.
A Variety of Kisses
That afternoon turned into an educational experience about kissing. I navigated various styles and techniques that actors employed, ranging from the overly enthusiastic to the surprisingly gentle. One kisser seemed to have a mission to explore my mouth entirely, leaving me to reconsider my dental hygiene. Another delivered kisses that were more theatrical than intimate, while one particularly exuberant kisser treated the moment as a competition, leaving me overwhelmed.
Among the chaotic kisses, I experienced one that felt genuine and effortless. I found myself lost in the moment, and for a brief instant, it felt like I was truly connecting with someone. This kiss, shared with Dimple Guy, left a lasting impression, leading to a deeper connection when we later worked together again.
Navigating Life’s Firsts
Reflecting on that surreal day, I took my mother’s advice to heart—embracing the uncertainty of new experiences. Life is a series of firsts, and we often navigate them without a clear understanding of the right way to proceed. First kisses, first loves, and first challenges all require a degree of improvisation, revealing that perfection lies not in flawless execution but in the ability to find beauty in the imperfect moments.
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