As a parent, there are certain phrases that most mothers—myself included—often find themselves avoiding. Among these, the phrase “Be quiet” is one that tends to evoke guilt and concern. But why is this the case? Why is it frowned upon to tell our children to hush?
In an ideal world, every child interruption could serve as a golden teaching moment. I would patiently kneel down to connect with my child, gently explaining that while I value their input, interrupting is not polite. I’d encourage them to wait until I’m ready to listen and, in return, they would patiently return to me only when I can provide my full attention. It would be a heartwarming scene worthy of a storybook.
However, reality paints a different picture. In my home, one child seems to require my attention every few moments, making it impractical to navigate every outburst with grace. While I truly want to hear what they have to say (or at least I think I do!), my daily tasks often take precedence—most of which revolve around their needs. Sometimes, a simple “be quiet” is necessary.
Take a typical morning, for example. I settle at my desk to tackle bills, appointments, and menus—essentially the administrative tasks of family life. To keep my kids occupied, I might offer them a show or activity. This usually works until I need to make an important phone call.
At that moment, my children seem to develop an overwhelming urge to express their thoughts at full volume. “I’m hungry!” “I don’t like this show!” “Is it lunchtime yet?” While none of these comments are urgent, they all come rushing at me the instant I lift the phone to my ear.
I prepare for these calls, often having steeled myself to confront customer service representatives about past frustrations. But instead of starting with my witty retorts, I find myself whispering “shh” to my children, hoping they understand the need for silence. This method works for about thirty seconds before they return, eager to share their latest urgent thought.
By the time I’m halfway through explaining my issue to the representative, I can’t hold back. I firmly tell my children to stop talking and play quietly. This usually buys me another fleeting minute before someone returns with the ever-relevant question about lunch.
In moments like these, a firm “be quiet” becomes a necessary form of communication. My children are aware of what a phone is and understand its significance. It’s frustrating when they choose to interrupt despite knowing I’m engaged in a conversation.
Initially, I felt guilty for using this direct approach, but I have come to realize that it is essential for their understanding of boundaries. While there are times when a gentle approach is crucial, I don’t believe it benefits them to shield them from the realities of communication. There is a fine line between ensuring their safety and allowing them to become overly demanding.
It’s important for children to learn that they are not always the center of attention. They need to experience moments of discomfort when they act inappropriately. Clear and direct communication helps set expectations, as children can easily take advantage of any ambiguity.
While I don’t often resort to telling my children to be quiet, when I do, they understand that they need to stop talking immediately unless there’s a genuine emergency. In my view, this is a valuable lesson for them to learn.
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Summary
In the chaos of parenting, telling kids to be quiet can sometimes be necessary. While gentle communication is often ideal, there are moments when clear boundaries must be established. Children need to learn that they cannot always command attention, and understanding this reality is vital for their development.
Keyphrase: parenting communication strategies
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