Parenting
What Became of the Woman Who Nurtured Me?
by M. J. Thompson
Updated: November 17, 2017
Originally Published: Dec. 23, 2014
My daughter is the first and likely only grandchild of my mother. This familial bond has led my mother to spoil her endlessly, exceeding even the limits of overindulgence.
This past weekend serves as a prime example. My mother visited as we prepared to go out for dinner with my sister and her partner, both of whom are childless and therefore, as they would say, wiser. The occasion? My mother’s birthday. Now, guess what she brought for her granddaughter, despite it being her own special day. If you thought it was just one gift, you would be mistaken.
She arrived with four presents. And when our dinner reservation was delayed, guess who ended up purchasing yet another gift from the toy store next to the restaurant?
My daughter was both overly excited and hungry, leading to a combination of misbehavior. My husband and I found ourselves repeatedly reminding her about table manners, threatening to take away toys if necessary. Meanwhile, she slid around on the bench, whining and persistently asking for chocolate milk and pasta.
None of this seemed to bother my mother, prompting me to question: Who was this woman?
If I had acted this way as a child in a restaurant, I would have faced serious consequences. Where was the mother who wielded her wooden spoon with authority, vowing to discipline my sister and me if we didn’t behave?
The answer was clear: This was now the Grandmother, not the Mother. Her role had shifted to simply enjoying her birthday, her meal, and the playful antics of her granddaughter, while I took on the responsibility of being the disciplinarian.
And I am perfectly fine with that. I don’t expect my mother to discipline my child. However, I was taken aback by her overt enabling, leading me to wonder if she was perhaps getting a little revenge.
After my daughter’s antics, I informed her that dessert was off the table—not only because she didn’t earn it, but I was genuinely concerned about the effects of sugar overload.
That’s when Grandma interjected, “Don’t worry, sweetie, you can have some of mine.”
Excuse me, what?
Sure enough, when the desserts arrived and my daughter began to cry for not having her own plate, Grandma stepped in, generously piling chocolate cake and ice cream onto my daughter’s dish.
In an amusing twist, Grandma even spoon-fed the last sizable bite to my daughter when she grew fatigued from eating. Unfortunately, the bite was too large, and my daughter ended up spitting it out into my hand, only to lament the size of the bite. A moment later, she dramatically declared, “My tummy hurts,” resting her head on the table as if in agony.
To my astonishment, the woman who raised me, who instilled in me the importance of manners and reprimanded me for misbehavior, stood up to comfort my daughter, rubbing her back while I watched in silent disbelief.
This article was originally published on Dec. 23, 2014.
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In summary, the transition from mother to grandmother reveals a shift in parental roles, highlighting the differences in discipline and nurturing. While the grandmother indulges, the mother remains responsible for instilling values and boundaries. This dynamic creates a unique experience for both generations.
Keyphrase: The Role of Grandparents in Parenting
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