As my children grow older, my friends and I often reflect on how those once-tiny beings are now evolving into young adults. With their long legs and more mature expressions, it is striking to see the transformations taking place. We reminisce about the days when they were just small, cooing bundles of joy, and now we observe their thoughts and humor aligning with our own. “They’re becoming real,” we whisper to one another, recognizing that they are no longer the little ones who once nestled so easily under our chins.
This year marks a significant transition for both myself and my eldest child, as I celebrate my 40th birthday while he turns 12. These milestones have brought about emotional and physical changes for both of us. During car rides to his volleyball practices, our shared laughter and comfortable silences remind me that I, too, am undergoing a transformation.
The Skin Horse in “The Velveteen Rabbit” illustrates a powerful truth: “Real isn’t how you are made; it’s a thing that happens to you.” This sentiment resonates deeply as I reflect on my parenting journey. I have experienced the joys and challenges of raising four children, my physical form bearing the marks of this journey — from stretch marks to graying hair. These signs of wear are reminders of the love I have received and given.
Children’s love fuels us through the sleepless nights, from holding a feverish child to receiving homemade gifts on Mother’s Day. Their affection carries me during times of exhaustion and emotional strain, yet it is also accompanied by the inevitable heartaches. There have been moments of frustration, slammed doors, and painful struggles that my children have faced, which I could not shield them from. Yet, in these moments, we discover the magic of resilience.
The process of becoming “real” takes time. Just as the Skin Horse explains, it is a gradual transformation characterized by vulnerability and the willingness to endure hurt. My friends and I have navigated the complexities of parenthood, facing challenges such as difficult pregnancies, health issues, and emotional upheavals. We support one another through our shared experiences, recognizing that this journey shapes us into the people we are meant to be.
As we look around at various parenting settings — be it the pediatrician’s office or school events — we see reflections of our own experiences in one another. This bond connects us, reminding us that the journey of becoming a “real” parent is an ongoing process.
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In summary, the journey of parenthood is filled with both challenges and profound love. As we navigate the complexities of raising children and growing alongside them, we embrace the transformation that comes with being a “real” parent.
Keyphrase: parenting transformation
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