After the birth of my daughter, I began to notice that alcohol was no longer a source of enjoyment for me. Although I was never a heavy drinker, my college years and early adulthood involved consuming alcohol at levels typical for my age group. I didn’t particularly love drinking, but it was something I enjoyed in social settings.
During my pregnancy, I completely abstained from alcohol. Once my daughter arrived and I resumed having an occasional glass of wine or beer, I discovered that my tolerance had drastically decreased. Just half a glass of wine impacted me significantly—and not in a positive way.
I realized that alcohol affected me differently than it does for many others. Rather than becoming friendly and carefree, I tended to become combative. My natural inclination to argue, which had been amplified by my legal education, was exacerbated by drinking. This made social interactions less enjoyable and more confrontational.
Additionally, alcohol diminished my discretion. I found myself sharing thoughts that were better left unsaid, and my tactfulness diminished, leading to more gossiping. The most troubling aspect was the aftermath; I often felt anxious and regretful the following day, questioning whether I had indeed behaved as poorly as I feared.
As the effects of alcohol wore off, I would become overwhelmingly tired, struggling to stay awake and feeling miserable. These effects were particularly pronounced in situations where I was around unfamiliar individuals or engaging in activities I wasn’t interested in, where it was crucial for me to maintain a polite demeanor.
The reason I began to focus on the negative aspects of drinking was largely due to the way I felt the next day. I would frequently ask my partner, Jake, for reassurance about my behavior, hoping my fears were unfounded.
Moreover, the fleeting enjoyment of alcohol never outweighed the negative feelings I experienced. I could never distinguish between good and mediocre wines, hard liquor was never appealing to me, and I often resented the calories from alcohol, wishing I could instead indulge in dessert.
Ultimately, I realized that this situation was not conducive to my happiness. While drinking seemed to bring joy to others, it only brought me discomfort. I decided it was better to forgo drinking entirely, avoiding the regret and saving the calories for something I truly enjoyed.
I understand that my choice may not resonate with everyone. I appreciate the joy others find in drinking (unless they delve too deeply into discussions about fine wines). I admire the celebratory nature of cocktails and the enthusiasm some exhibit toward alcohol—this was particularly evident while I was researching Winston Churchill, whose affection for liquor was notable, even if he actually consumed less than commonly perceived.
One of the most profound lessons I learned is that just because something is enjoyable for others doesn’t mean it will be for me—and vice versa. My quality of life has improved since I reduced my alcohol intake. Returning home from social events, I no longer feel a wave of regret or anxiety about my actions. I feel healthier and more alert, instead of exhausted and drained.
I often wonder why it took me so long to recognize that I wasn’t truly enjoying drinking. I could have opted to drink more, which may have increased my tolerance and improved my behavior, but I found it simpler to eliminate alcohol altogether. Occasionally, I still indulge in a glass of wine or champagne during celebrations, but I’ve come to realize that drinking does not suit me.
There are moments when I wish I could enjoy alcohol like others do. I sometimes feel constrained and cheerless compared to those who seem to revel in drinking. But the truth remains: it simply isn’t fun for me.
The most striking aspect of my decision to stop drinking is how long it took me to reach that conclusion. Why was it so difficult to “Be Emily”? Recognizing what truly brings happiness can be challenging, especially when it pertains to our own preferences and experiences.
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Summary:
After becoming a mother, I discovered that alcohol no longer brought me joy and often led to negative feelings such as anxiety and regret. This realization prompted me to reduce my alcohol consumption, ultimately leading to improved happiness and well-being. While I still occasionally enjoy a drink, I’ve learned that abstaining from alcohol is what truly benefits me.
Keyphrase: Why I Stopped Drinking Alcohol
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